F%$# your teen angst. I'm dying.

Poor Stacey. I just got off the phone with her and apparently my mom told her how I was hurt by Stacey pressuring me about school and Shawn and life and motherhood and my identity and everything. I wasn't really hurt, just irritated. It broke my heart though because it sounded like she was more hurt by my being hurt or irritated than I was to begin with. If that makes sense. Bless her heart. IT'S OKAY STACEY. NOT A BIG DEAL. I'm over it. I guess I'm just grateful that she's self-aware enough to realize that not everything she says is the gospel truth, and that I have different priorities and dreams than she. I have difficulties with people who aren't humble about things like that because there's no reasoning with them. Like take Jared for instance... Just kidding... OR AM I?!? While we were talking on the phone she apologized, which caught me off guard at first because I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about until she explained herself. Awwwww Stacey. That's why we not only make great sisters but friends.
Watched Dreamland a few nights ago with Rachel. Basically because it had Justin Long in it. Shawn's not around, so I guess that's the next best thing, right? A dumb indie movie with a former teenage celebrity crush in it? Right? Oh man, his hair was so bad in it, and he was supposed to play an athlete. NO Justin NO. Part of his appeal is the fact that he's just such a dork. A COOL dork, but a dork nonetheless. And we're expected to believe that this pasty toothpick is supposed to be a basketball player? And I was the head cheerleader in high school.
It was interesting to analyze with Rachel. There were loads of unnecessary unflattering cleavage in it (support becomes even MORE important, the more heavily endowed you are. You'd think that stupid blonde chick would've figured it out, but no.), a really obnoxious, aforementioned blonde chick that was dying from MS, and dreamed of one day being Miss America. Stupid stupid stupid. Her name was Sydney but at the beginning of the movie she decides to change it to Calista ("Calista Bliss") because it sounds 'hot.' She was beautiful, but that's really all she had going for her, and all she seemed to care about. And the fact that she was dying. And nobody likes a babe that feels sorry for herself. She and her best friend live in a trailer park. Her best friend, played by a chick named Agnes Something-or-other, is a lot deeper and cooler and just cares for her drunk of a dad (miscast, but still good--the dad that is) and her dying shallow best friend. And people who think they're deep or misunderstood get on my nerves, too. Especially when THEY'RE the one to point it out. It's like humility I suppose. The moment you say you're deep (or think deeply), it negates the fact that you are. At least to me. ANYWAY, Justin goes out with the blonde chick at Agnes's urging, but secretly she and he fall in love. They don't DO anything except this steamy sort of half-kiss thing, but later she tells the blonde that she loves him and hopes he feels the same. Calista freaks out and follows him by stealing someone's motorcycle (by this time he leaves for school in Las Vegas), and of course her MS freaks out and she gets into an accident. COMPLICATIONS. And there's a bunch of weird beesting scenes. I think I get what it represents, but the scenes themselves are so weird, I think they detract from whatever point they're trying to get across. Anyway, in the end, Agnes and Justin get together, he gets a cute haircut (I WISH), And Calista electrocutes herself, but doesn't die. The electricity is supposed to help with the MS. Whatever. And John Corbett, the dad, gets a job. And Agnes goes to college, just like Emily Dickinson. Rachel loved the line, "They're having sex right now, aren't they? And it's beautiful..." Whatever Rachel, whatever. Rethinking the whole celebrity crush.
We watched the Apartment last night. I've seen it before and liked it a lot better this time around. With stars like Jack Lemmon and Shirley Maclaine, I was expecting a screwball comedy, but it was a lot darker than that. But MAN it kills you how much Jack just LOVES her and would do anything for her, even to the extent of allowing the neighbors and others to get the wrong end of the stick about why she overdosed at HIS house, in order to protect her. And she had tried to commit suicide over a stupid shallow womanizing married man. Argh. Anyway, THAT'S a truly most excellent movie.
At work I've been put in charge of a project that I suspect is only to give the secretaries something to do (ie busy work), but never mind. I have to go through all of the letters of recommend for ALL of the students in the past like eight years, write down the names and addresses of them if they were professors (those who wrote the recommends), and copy down other things in a spreadsheet. So if they like the student after a number of years, we would contact said professors to express appreciation and encourage them to recommend MORE people to the program. Blech. At least I'm to the fourth years, and the fourth year folders are purple. Purple always helps.

Valley Fever isn't a reference to the Bubble?

Have any of you heard of Valley Fever? My coworkers were talking about it today. Apparently it's prevalent in Southern California, and Hispanics, Asians and Africans are the most susceptible to it. It's a fungus in the air that once it gets inside continues to grow in your lungs. And causes a lot of coughing. Good times.
I've got a new roommate. Her name is Cherish. She's from Grand Junction, Colorado. I'm surprised by how much I LOVED Colorado when I went there over the summer for a wedding, although everyone kept trying to get me to couple up or at least get some with Jared's friend who was a less-active alcoholic... and Jared made me contribute to the lewd and perverse and extremely inappropriate decorating of the newlyweds car, but those are stories for another day. Cherish is more talkative than Rachel (I don't mean anything by it Rachel, so don't GET OFFENDED), by a LOT. And the "baby" in her family is my age, 23, and she mentioned something about considering going to the family ward--something along those lines--so my guess is she's in her late 20's and early 30's. And all she talked about was her mission and things that happened four years ago (I kept asking, oh wait, you mean THIS past general conference? And she's like, no, 2003. Um... I thought I was the only one living in the past...). I barely remember ANYTHING from my mission, and it was amazing that's she's been home for as long as she has been and was able to recall with apparent extreme accuracy all this stuff that happened to her (and that it was mostly what she had talked about, even though she's been home for so long. I mean I've been home for a year, and she told more mission stories in the span of 2-3 hours than I've told in the past 2-3 months). Mostly about all these elders that were deeply in love with her. And when she got home how most of her friends are guys and all these girls were and are jealous of her for being friends with such righteous babes, and she would be confused because they're just FRIENDS... She's getting her Masters in English. Graduated with a degree in English and Theater I think. She's hilarious, and it's obvious she's was a theater major by the way she tells her stories. I just couldn't help by try to analyze her... Was she trying to explain why she's in her late 20's/early 30's and still single or compensate for any suspicions by telling me all these stories? Still don't feel like I have my finger quite on it. Stay tuned for further news on that front. All in all though she seems like she'll be a lot of fun. And at least English is her first language...
I've started organizing my fabrics! Can't wait for new clothes. My old roommate moved her junk out of the bathroom and front room, so at least those are clean now. Except for my fabrics in the front room. And the bathroom can use a wipe down as well. But one thing at a time.
Shawn might be going to Wyoming. He's in Idaho right now, instead of Vernal, and if things don't work out he might be headed east to Wyoming. Which I don't like, because it means he'll be getting back LATER on Friday. Gwarsh. What about MY NEEDS!
Have a great Tuesday. I must say I'm thoroughly enjoying Catch-22. I'm about 200 pages into it, and have already started applying the said circular paradoxical reasoning to my everyday life. Which I'm not entirely sure is a good thing, but I just can't help it.

No pictures please

So I had a fantastic weekend, I must say. But alas, Shawn took all the pictures. As in he didn't steal them, he just owns the camera. And refused to give me any last night. Sigh. Which makes it difficult for me to make this a graphic entry, so I apologize and hope that you will direct your dirty sideways glances in his general vicinity. He will be in Vernal until Friday again this week, if that helps. Well, we left Saturday morning around 10:30. I promptly got carsick, which thankfully DID NOT result in my puking all over the backseat on Shawn or forcing the car to be pulled over to gracefully ralph over the side of the road; it just ended with me feeling angry and understanding Shawn's reservations more over his objections to Brady's driving abilities. Very bumpy I guess. Although I think it was more the smell of the car. Which didn't smell BAD per se--it just had a very car-ish SMELL, which for me usually facilitates the urge to vomit. It was great of them to invite us though, and beyond the ride there (even gum and avoiding reading didn't help! Which almost always does the trick) I loved every minute. And the ride back was a lot better. At the cabin they had this game called Hit the Spot that was the most addicting game I've played since Wario Woods. Dumb games but I just can't help myself.
And it was SO lush to see Shawn after a week of... um... no Shawn. I have to wait until Friday AGAIN to see him. Not sure how I feel about this.
We went shopping in Park City (Did I mention I HATE shopping?) and ended up getting two V-neck T shirts for about 6.50 each (on sale). Annalisa and Mindy were both great, though. I've gone shopping with other friends before where they take FOREVER and they want your opinion about EVERYTHING and then they continue to whine and moan and hesitate. But those two were basically in and out of most of the stores. Which I really appreciated. It was cute to observe how two sisters behaved when shopping together, too. Mindy sometimes would treat Annalisa the same way Stacey treats me. "Oh YOU don't like THIS." Okay, good to know...
It was also snowing. And at this one gourmet food place they had loads of samples, and MAN it was all I could do not to go back and eat every sample. Shawn said I could ONLY have one. Such a controlling boyfriend I have.
His aunt makes jewelry, and let us use her supplies to make bracelets, and Shawn made me one! It's a goofy bracelet made up of red, light blue, and dark blue beads that alternated with silver spacers. I'm wearing it today with one of the new T-shirts I bought over the weekend. Awww...
Church was a lot more fun than it should've been. When visiting, I usually only go to sacrament meeting and skip out on the rest, but we didn't realize how close the building was, we were without a car, and had to rely on Shawn's aunt Erin to drive us (and sacrament meeting is last). And his uncle is the Stake President. Keeping up appearances! We went for all three meetings, everyone was super-friendly, and Shawn had decided that if the Liberty ward was to be a movie, we were to be in charge of casting. Hence it being so fun. Even if he DIDN'T know who Christopher Plummer was, or couldn't remember what the actress looked like in Legally Blonde that Elle was defending. We even casted Woody from Toy Story and Samara from The Ring. And Mitch, Shawn's roommate. And the entire cast of Little Giants and The Mighty Ducks. It was great. And there was this little girl sitting in front of us just STARING at me but mostly at Shawn. Which made ME crack up during the hymn, and Shawn I think initially thought I was laughing at his singing (I LOVE the way he sings hymns--and I'm very particular, which, you know, just goes to show...), so I pointed her out, and then he couldn't stop laughing either. It's been a LONG time since I've been in a family ward so it took some major adjusting.
We went for a nice walk through the forest, too, and came across a reservoir which was very nice! And Shawn took loads of scenic pictures, and even acquiesced to allowing me to take one or two. The thoughtfulness. Yeah, can't wait to get my own digital camera (*baby!*).
We watched the Office as well on Shawn's computer which was hilarious as always. O Creed. I'm so confused.

Jessica STILL hasn't moved her stuff out AND she took a shower here this morning. I'M GETTING ANGRY!!!!!!!!!

MY LIFE!

I don't really know what to say, but I've been told to update my blog several times now, so... Um.... yeeeeeeeeahhhhh.......... Hmmmm.

Sorry if I've been cranky this week. A lot has been going on. Shawn's been away, there was a pregnancy scare (HAHAHAHAHA I just realized that that made it sound like I HAD a pregancy scare. Um.... NO! IDIOT! My sister was rushed to the hospital with strange pains in her right side. She's two months along, and therefore still going through a danger period, so the scare was HERS. NOT MINE! PERVERT!), my ROOMMATE WON'T MOVE HER CRAP OUT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL OUT TEN DAYS AGO, I've been tired and adjusting to the new work schedule, I FINALLY got the rest of my art supplies yesterday...

I got like three hours of sleep last night. I was FURIOUS. I did take a long nap yesterday, but that usually doesn't prevent my nighttime sleepage. I think what did it was my cleaning most of the house. Got way overstimulated by it, in the nonsexual sense (PERVERT!). My mind wouldn't slow down, and insisted on replaying the Belle and Sebastian songs I was listening to as I was cleaning.

Anyway, I did get to see a musical and a play last week. My Aunt Terri and Uncle Mykal treated Shawn and me to "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: The Musical." Now, I LOVE the movie, and was VERY apprehensive when I found out they added music to it and put it on the stage. But MAN ALIVE it was outstanding! And they even took us out for really good Mexican food right beforehand. Awww. THOSE TWO! Don't tell the others, but they're pretty much my favorite extended family members. As far as those who are older than me goes :).

The VERY NEXT NIGHT we saw "No Time for Sergeants" with Shawn's roommate Mitch playing several small roles in it. He was great, the play was great, although some of the players were obvious newcomers to acting, so a few small scenes came off a bit contrived. Bless! What was REALLY fun came after--we harassed Mitch to tell us what the actors were really like, and the truth was VERY enlightening! Stay away from Sergeant King. That's all I will say.

Finished reading "Angela's Ashes" yesterday. It was fantastic. Made me stay up and/or late for work on many occasions. Very much a Jim book, too (Jim being my Daddy). Reminds me a lot of him, and some of his childhood stories, although his Dad didn't drink away all the wages. And he grew up in Canada. And as far as I know they didn't lose any brothers or sisters to the galloping consumption or to anything. Just three boys.

I started Catch-22, which has been most excellent so far. Thanks Janay for letting me borrow. The sweetness.

Trying to think if there is anything else... Nope. Just sorry if I've been short with any of you! Itrysohard. My sister thinks I'm in danger of losing my identity. I'll show HER my identity. The nerve THE NERVE. Got my grades in yesterday. Or was it the day before? These days just blend in and out don't they! Anyway, I got the following: A, A-, A-, B, C-, in respectively, Intro to Drawing, US History, Biology, New Testament and Statistics. I was gunning for the C-. It was a B-I. Shawn got this: A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A-. I was disappointed in him by that last A-, too. Ridiculous. Clean yourself up, Shawn! Anyway, he's coming home tonight from work in Vernal! Can't... wait... and this weekend is going to be great. Hopefully the weather will improve. I love Park City. Oh and him, too. Him being Shawn. Of course.

details

So I told my boss about my... liberation problems, and she let me borrow her car to secure...independence? I can't think of any real effective euphemisms that doesn't simultaneously evoke images of the Revolutionary War. So thankfully I didn't have to go through the whole day... questioning my patriotism...

Apparently they're thinking about cutting back on secretaries. While my job isn't in jeopardy, the constant upkeep of my blog and e-mails are--we're not allowed to use the computer for personal use any more. Although we can at least still thankfully do homework. Hopefully this only lasts for a couple of weeks, because the summer will be hell if I can't talk to friends online. Or write in my blog. Or do anything beyond sit there and get intensely confused over the clinical psychology budget. Argh.

Today's stressful. And yesterday was insane. Can't wait for the semester to be over. And I'm so proud of myself. I registered for classes for fall semester, and four out of five of my classes satisfy GE requirements. And the fifth one is a painting class which will greatly contribute to my art portfolio. Can you imagine me being 100% productive like that? Weird, huh. No random just for fun classes for yours truly. I guess people can change... right? RIGHT??!?!

Annie waits... for the last time

Here are some things about me that you may or may not have known.

My mom REALLY wanted me. My grandma was so tickled by how desperately my mom wanted a girl that if I were a boy, she would get to keep me. They both got what they wanted, I guess! (but my grandma didn't get to keep Kyle, which is something I'm sure she was later grateful for...)
As a girl I was to be called Annie. If I were a boy it would've been Andy. Since we were twins, we couldn't be called Annie and Andy. Think about it. I still hold a grudge against Kyle, considering the name Annie is WAY cuter than Kari as a girls name. Kari is one of those androgenous names, although it is a bit more girlish than boyish. I mean hey, look at Cary Elwes.

I feel guilty if I don't dry my hair in the morning (although without fail, I always dry my bangs, or fringe as the English call it. I know. Weird). So if you see me sporting a ponytail, you can be rest assured that I'm nursing a major guilt trip.

Sometimes I don't wash my face at night just to be defiant. Or because I think I've earned the right not to--"Hey, I had a REALLY rough day and I'm tired! I deserve not to have to get proper ready for bed!"

This one time, the most popular and cutest boy in school (he was a sixth grader, I think I was a fourth grader), named Kenny, went up to me... and asked me... if my name was Penelope. After I said no, he turned around and went back to his group of friends and they all laughed at him. In the group was a girl named Dawn. When I was a first grader, we used to have these buddies that would come to class, and she was mine. I was her "hairdo friend." I don't think either of us really knew what that meant, except it sounded really cool at the time.

I feel guilty for just wanting to be a mom. Pressure from the sis doesn't help much either.

I don't really see the value in having artistic talents. As far as talents go, I think having it in the medical fields are much more contributing to this world. Which isn't necessarily right--everyone has different talents for a reason, but I'm not sure if I'd rather add to choices and quality of life, rather than contributing to the quality (and possibility) of health and existence, if that makes sense. Making pretty pictures doesn't really help anyone long-term. It just makes you say "got it" and walk on.

I put the trash bin at the curb this morning! It's probably the first time ever I've done that since moving here. Maybe second time. But doubtful.

I get really irritated if my roommate leaves a couple of things out, or leaves things in the fridge for exorbitant amounts of time, although I do the same (at least the former) but much worse.

I'm very particular about HOW people say my name--I'm not talking pronunciation, I'm talking inflection and tone. I hate the way Poncho says it. Like he knows a secret about me or something. It's icky. Don't tell him! I love the way the English say it. ALL of them. It's adorable. And they always say it so carefully the first time, like it's the first time they've EVER uttered the name. Like the 'r' has nothing to do with the first syllable.

I have COMPLETELY fainted on three separate occasions. I've come very close countless times. The most embarrassing though was when my best friend Amber Longhurst (now Brueseke) and I were sitting up on her bathroom counter, in I think the sixth grade, and she was desperately trying to put her contacts in. She was having a difficult time, and I was holding my breath as I watched her. So I basically forgot to breathe and completely passed out. Luckily her mom was standing behind us and caught me as I fell back. Here's the embarrassing part that I leave out when I tell this story to people. Apparently I snored as I fell back. *Blush* Out like a light.

Ouch. I just REALLY hurt my back lifting up a big box of xerox paper for a professor. My coworker's chair was sticking out enough that I couldn't lift it up all the way just yet, thereby stressing out my back as we both noticed and she pulled it back. Man alive.

One of the reasons why I don't like to cry is if I'm completely out and out bawling (which I think only Janay has seen in the past several years, at least friends-wise), I hyperventilate and I start to black out. A REALLY scary thing when you're driving!

Honestly, I don't care either way about the smell of most flowers. I think the great majority smell the same. There are, of course, a few exceptions.

Most of the things I love doing, I hate doing as well.

While I was looking up pictures for this blog, I came across some facts about Cary Elwes. Not only is his last name pronounced "el-wez" (I always thought it was el-wess) but he's not gay. Apparently he's happily married. Um... whoops.

I nearly just died of embarrassment. For the first time in my life, I forgot to put on a bra. Not really sure when I have the time to go home and put one on. And it's going to be a long day. I've been at work for an hour, and didn't notice until I had to walk to the mail room to drop something off. Luckily I'm wearing a sweater, but it's still a bit chilly. BLUSH! And I was so proud of myself for remembering everything. So of course, being Kari, I forgot a basic. Now if I had been an Annie...

We're Still Fighting It

Next time you're listening to that Ben Folds song, walk up stairs. I did this morning and it made me want to Carpe the Diem. Isn't it funny how certain songs are great but only when driving, walking, getting ready in the mornings, and/or cleaning? And I'm not talking about moods. Although let's talk about moods. Kari moods, if I may.
It's easy to tell how I'm feeling if you pay attention to the music I'm listening to at that particular time. While this is not completely foolproof, it's a good guide to go by.

Listen to Careful when you're cleaning. Listen to Oldies when getting ready in the mornings--Monkees, Beatles and Mamas and the Papas and John Denver are always safe bets. Or Belle and Sebastian. Listen to B & S or David Bowie when walking. It makes you actually like people instead of get incredibly frustrated at how they're walking right in a group right in front of you while walking at a snail-pace. Listen to Pink Floyd when driving.

When I'm feeling slightly or incredibly depressed, or a bit upset I listen to:
Cat Stevens
Badly Drawn Boy
Carole King
Etta James

Actually, because I'm feelin' it, I'm going to put the ultimate Kari depressive or just feeling pensive music list. Now some of these are actuallly kind of happy songs, but they still make me feel a bit sad for some reason. Don't ask me why.

Trouble--Cat Stevens
A Minor Incident and Silent Sigh by Badly Drawn Boy
Home Again by Carole King
Vienna--Billy Joel
Father and Farther by Jim Boyd
I Will Follow You Into the Dark--Death Cab for Cutie
Never Surrender--Corey Hart
Good Day--Dresden Dolls
Summer and Piano Stories by Joe Hisaishi
Never My Love -- The Association
You Were Meant for Me - Jewel
Ticket to Ride--The Beatles
I Need You (That Thing You Do)- The Wonders
Making Love Out of Nothing at All - Air Supply
Total Eclipse of the Heart--Bonnie Tyler
She Talks to Angels--Black Crowes
Please Don't Tell Her--Jason Mraz
Tonight (And the Rest of my life)--Nora Gordon
Ooh La La--The Faces
Boston--Augustana
Lightning Crashes--Live
It Looks Like You--Lick the Tins
Two Points for Honesty, Careful and Demon by Guster
All I Could do was Cry--Etta James (basically anything she does)
At the Dark End of the Streets--The Commitments
Fidelity--Regina Spektor
You and Me--Cranberries
Wish You Were Here--Pink Floyd
Heart of Mine--Peter Sallett
Angel Eyes--Jim Brickman
Buried--Shawn Wiggins
One Way Love--EG Daily
People Like Us by The Talking Heads
Out of My Head--Fastball

Here are my blissfully happy songs
All The Way Up to Heaven--Guster
I want you to want me--Cheap Trick
Let My Love Open the Door--Pete Townshend
Life on Mars--David Bowie
I've Just Seen a Face, Act Naturally and I Will by The Beatles
Annie Waits and Zac and Sara by Ben Folds
Wild Wild Life--Talking Heads
Wonderful World--Sam Cooke
Downtown and I know a Place--Petula Clark
Dream a Little Dream of Me and This is Dedicated (To the One I love)--The Mamas and the Papas
Baby I Love to See you Smile, Short People, Political Science--Randy Newman (among others)
Your Song--Love Psychedelico
Crazy Little Thing Called Love--Queen
Stacey's Mom--Fountains of Wayne (makes me laugh every time I hear it)
Brand New Key--Melanie
Heart of Mine--Peter Sallett (I know! It depends what mood I'm in to begin with)
You Turn Me On (I'm a Radio)--Joni Mitchell
Who Put the Bomp--Barry Mann
Funny Little Frog and If She Wants me by Belle and Sebastian
Picturesque--Bryce Kulak
What I like about You--The Romantics
Rock this Town and Stray Cat Strut by the Stray Cats
You might Think--The Cars
I Believe in a Thing Called Love--The Darkness
Concrete and Clay--Units 4+2
Everyday I write the Book--Elvis Costello
Burning Love--Elvis Presley
Every Little Thing she does is Magic--The Police
We're Going to Be Friends and Hotel Yorba by The White Stripes
Be Gentle with Me and My Tiger and Me--The Boy Least Likely To
Because--Dave Clark Five
Tribute--Tenacious D

These lists are by no means complete. Anyway I'm embarrassed that I've done this because I fully expect make-funnage from my boyfriend and close friends by some of the choices. And it seems rather Emo to do something like this doesn't it? Ew. Sigh.

I've been watching The Tenth Kingdom, borrowed from Janay. It's a miniseries. I remember when it played on TV. Wow I must be desperate for entertainment. It gets kind of tedious working on art though with nothing in the background. I'm surprised that Diane Weist agreed to do it. Pretty horrifying Janay. But as far as mindless cheesy entertainment goes, it gets the job done.

Shawn came home yesterday! Finally. The whole waiting thing was ridiculous. Janay and Rachel agree that Shawn could be the next Kurt Cobain. Would that possibly make me the next Courtney Love? Ew. No Shawn, NO. I totally support you in your music, but I'm telling you right now, I will not support your drug habits. And I don't expect you to support mine.

Getting so exciting!

So is it wrong that it totally made my day that when I got ready this morning and was listening to the radio I caught the last minute of "Afternoon Delight" on the Oldies station? It was kind of nice to finally hear more of the lyrics that even in Arrested Development were found to be so suggestive and inappropriate. Te, hee. And YES they were!

I had the strangest dream last night. First of all, myself and maybe (?) Shawn (someone else was there, but I can't remember) were in an art museum, and we ran into Angelina Jolie. She was so small! Not as short as me but smaller than expected. Anyway, she starts to pitch something like Mary Kay to us! We agreed to let her come over later, which she did. And it turned out that she and Brad Pitt had broken up like a year ago, and she was now with Gary Sinise. Yeah, I know. WEIRD. So she comes over to my house like the next day or something, with all this makeup and stuff, and she tells us all about it, but doesn't try to sell it to us!!!! Yeah, I'm confused, too. Anyway, it switches over to where I'm now at church, about 15 minutes before sacrament is to begin, and my mom comes over to me with a flute, asking if I wanted it, saying that she wanted to run it by me first, because Stacey always gets EVERYTHING (which is true!!! But it's funny because I think THINK Stacey owns that flute in real life, back from elementary school). I'm like "MOM! I can't play it! I've tried to play the flute!" I demonstrated and sure enough, nothing really came out. But there was a hole at the tip of the flute, and I blew into that, and music came out! And I played it almost like a clarinet. I know. Weird. But what was even weirder was that I started to improvise on it, and this great song came out! And my mom beckoned for these guys to come over (which included Tyler, of Tyler Bell, and Elder Thomas, now McKay, who was both a District Leader and Zone Leader to me on my mission. But not at the same time, and probably Shawn. He's always in my dream somewhere, and a couple of other guys whom I can't recall) and I tried to start playing again, and it was rough at first, but then I started to play Kari's Waltz, the little instrumental that Shawn once wrote for me to cheer me up, and they started singing along to it! And somehow they all knew the words, even though they were making it up as they went along!

Needless to say the song is now firmly stuck in my head.

Nothing more than FEELINGS

Wow, yesterday was a BIG DAY. BIG TIME. A lot of news. A LOT OF NEWS. One of which ISN'T that Smith's carries honey roasted sunflower seeds, which I have been looking for since literally elementary school. They're heaven itself. That would've been news from earlier this week. I made this delicious meal from scratch yesterday, too. I'd describe it to you, but you'd probably be grossed out, but I was raised on it, and it's delicious! Without measuring utensils either. Just vague directions from my mommy over the phone. And *sob* I like a punk/alternative song. Isn't that sick? I didn't know at the time I promise! The first time I heard it was from a Battlestar Galactica commercial on TV. It's "It Ends Tonight" by *shudder* The All-American Rejects. They think that just because I like ONE song like that, that I'll suddenly convert and start wearing black eyeliner. Yeah, right... Um... (it's black/brown eyeliner, and WILL NEVER CHANGE!!!!!).

Anyway, I digress. BIG NEWS:

My sister, after she and her husband have been trying for five years (intermittently, as he was in Iraq for months at a time throughout), is six weeks pregnant! She was absolutely dumbfounded when she found out, as was Jared, but more than anything thrilled beyond measure. We all have our fingers crossed that things will work out. She said she will probably be able to hear the baby's heart beat within a week or two. Something like that. She'll be out of the most/main danger in another six weeks. I said to avoid any possible complications she should be confined to bed or at least her hobby table. She agreed, but the plan didn't sound very plausible. Unless you move the kitchen into her room. At least that's how things are going to be when I get pregnant. Can't wait to not feel so guilty about being so lazy (but what about the baby?!?! I can't lift that/cook that/make that/clean that/do that/I suppose I could eat that...). I mean... what? No I don't think I'll be that bad. Close... but... um... no. Unless under doctor's orders. Anyway, they've been feeling this coming for awhile, but still flabbergasted when it actually HAPPENED. They had talked to their bishop I think prior to finding out, and he had similar words of comfort for them as well. Dah dah dahhhhh... The feelings one gets!

My parent's house fell through. They were already moved in and everything. But the funny thing is, they feel really relieved about it! Of course, disappointed and my Dad, upon asking, said he felt "lousy" at the idea of having to repack and move everything to storage and find a place to live all in one weekend. Blech. Poor guys. But they both felt like they were just "too middle-class" for such a nice home! They could've scrounged up the last minute money they needed for an unexpected bill that came up, but decided ultimately against it. They just got out of debt, and wouldn't want to have to deal with that again any time soon. Good times. They're so funny. Neither of them felt good about the place after they moved in, (my mom said she felt too exposed, since the house wasn't surrounded by big potentially dangerous evergreen/cedar trees like our last one) so I guess things worked out for the best. Kyle is getting kicked out, too. When I talked to him yesterday, he was looking for a place to live close to work with one of his D&D buddies. It's good that he's living away from home, but I'm not entirely sure it's wise that he's living with an equally unmotivated friend like that. Yikes. But whatever. Apparently Jared teased Stacey, "You Pedersens and your feelings!" It's what we're into! Honestly. That's how I live my life. It works out great most of the time, except when you're taking tests. Then--notsomuch.

Shawn left me this week. Until Monday. It sucks already. Grrrr.... And on top of everything I have so much homework and studying to do. Puke. A great deal of it will be done before Saturday, which is good, but still. Stressed! And he's at home hanging out with his family having a great old time. *fist shakeage* You won't get away with this!

One last note: I've decided to forget about the whole 12 dollars and Josh thing. I've decided to forget about him, and just quit worrying about it and getting infuriated and defiant all over again. He's ridiculous. There's no explanation for him or his behavior. All I can say in my parting words is that I wish him all the happiness, and not to be surprised if he receives one of the following on his door or in his mailbox addressed to him:

PS: Miss and love you Shawn! Have a nice weekend! And try to get as much homework done as possible, because we'll, um... have a lot of catching up to do next week. ASAP. I'll try to do the same as well. And tell your family "hi!" for me. Like that: "hi!" They'll know what it means.

Self-destructive behavior

I've got the best parents. Hands down. EASY. But that still doesn't mean that there are some aspects innate in both of them (although mostly my mom. Sorry mommy I love you you're swell!) that I'm terrified of having myself. Mostly money management. Not that my mom is all that terrible. But every now and then she flips out and spends ridiculous amounts on her hobbies, big sister trips, etc., without a second thought to my Dad. While mine is understandably on a much smaller scale, I still every now and then flip out and spend 50-100 dollars on things I really don't need but for that split second I REALLY REALLY want. Which is awful. I don't want to put my husband through that much frustration and eye-rollage. It's funny, but even though Shawn and I are only dating, I still sometimes feel guilty towards him if I spend what I deem a lot of money on something I don't really need. Even if he's not there, or thinks it's ultimately great that I got it. I KNOW! He says I'm too hard on myself, which is true to a certain extent, but come on! I'm getting ridiculous. I bought these Clinique perfumey things today. Even though it was geared towards buying for mother's day, it's exactly what I wanted :) Te, hee. I can't help it! Do you think I lack self-discipline? I sure do. I've been thinking a lot about certain things lately, and I realized sometimes I'm too hard on Shawn. I try not to show it, but I think it's a good sign that as of a week or two ago (and especially in the past couple of days) I've gone back to just yelling at Josh in my head instead of Shawn. I argue a lot in my head. It's a real problem. And MAN I let the expletives fly. Anyway, he said something offhand yesterday that reminded me of something I think I heard in Freshman year--something along the lines of make sure you ACT like the one, too, instead of being so concerned with finding the one. Does that make sense? Like you should make sure you're doing things right first and foremost, before you start railing into other people for not doing the same, especially significant others that you know try just as hard as you. Or more. I hope I'm getting my point across. Anyway, things are looking up! Can't wait for the summer. So I can draw and tan. Guilt-free.

I've got blisters on my fingers!

So I broke another nail. So I overreacted and cut all my nails the same length. REALLY short. And man I'm regretting it because first they always tingle and feel funny, but by the next day they just get hypersensitive and painful and now it really hurts to type. And it's not like I cut them too short! On most of them there's still quite a bit of white showing. That's just the risk you take when you grow your nails long. Argh. I went grocery shopping yesterday. Spent exorbitant amounts of money, most of it on healthy food that I'm absolutely determined to eat this time! I even brought my carrot sticks (with dip--it's the only way you'll get me to eat especially apples :) ) to work to eat, instead of chips. Which I also bought but never mind. I even bought spinach. I stand all amazed. I cleaned the house. I just need to vacuum, do another load of dishes and finish my laundry, and it'll be sparkling! Until my roommate comes home. Argh. She's been gone for nearly three weeks now, which is kind of nice, except she left a few messes around, and when she drops in (she's been staying at a friends house) sometimes she'll leave trash on the counter. Usually she's not really bad about cleanliness, but yeeesh. COME ON. I'm tryingsohard here! I rented a movie (AND PAID FOR THAT FREAKING 12 DOLLAR LATE FEE THAT JOSH OWED ME BACK IN DECEMBER! IHATEHIM!!!) that was made by the same guy that made Raise the Red Lantern and The Road Home. Rachel preferred the former, while I'm in love with the latter, but adored both movies. The first one is just a lot sadder and darker. Anyway, way excited about this one. I WAS going to watch it before class today as I put away clothes and such, BUT when Rachel left last night SHE TOOK IT! MY MOVIE! THE CHEEK! And her phone is probably off which means she didn't get the angry text message I sent her this morning. I'm not mad. I'll get even. Just kidding. Actually I'm really grateful to her because she was the one that took me shopping. My Hero-ine. Thing. Gotta go!

some random thoughts and happenings

I love Shawn
I also love chocolate
My mom dumped my stuff out of my hope chest and is going to use it as a linen container thing not too happy about that
I love art but I'm not sure if I love it enough
My family has a new home number. I really don't like that. I've had the same one since I've moved here. I remember in kindergarten once when my mom wrote it on my hand to help me memorize it. It's a part of who I am; my identity. I feel so lost now.
I can't wait for school to end
I can't wait to see Shawn tonight
I can't wait for General Conference
I can't stop listening to the song "I'll Will Follow You Into the Dark"
It's a real problem
I should be doing homework right now
Actually technically I should be doing WORK right now, but we all know how that goes for me.
I can't wait for new Office episodes in the coming weeks
I'm beginning to accept the fact that I will always suffer from chronic back pain
and suffering it is
I'm always willing to risk worsening it though for a delicious game of soccer
sick huh
I'm sick of being pasty. I'm really going to try to get a tan this summer. Very un-Kari-like I know, but it's time for a change.
Sometimes I get resentful when I actually have to WORK at work. Isn't that awful?
Okay, enough doddling. If I really want to go to the jazz class thing with Shawn, I'd better get started on work.
I hope I get to go home at least for a tiny bit this summer. I want to see this new house of mine.
I've got really awesome friends and family. I'm way too blessed. It's ridiculous.
I sleep now.
Well homework, actually, but I couldn't quote a movie with that.
I want to see the new Will Ferrell movie. It got three stars! I'm impressed.
Shoot there was something else.

Unless you WANT cleavage...

Here's the cleavage shot I was referring to from a couple of blogs ago. As you can see, we managed a cleavage-free photo op. Sorry to disappoint. I'll spare you all the other photos that include the other two bridesmaids. Too mortified. I got an E-mail from her a couple of days ago. Apparently she's recently become extremely addicted to scrapbooking and chided me for not getting her hooked on it sooner. I tried to tell her!
Saw Hamlet last night. That was pretty darn good! And Mitch can do a wicked cockney accent. Shawn certainly likes to try. And he likes to mimic me when I talk and yawn at the same time. Really bad habit of mine. Still shocked every time when people can't understand me when I do it. Ridiculous, I know. The worst was last night when I TRIED to say "Mitch didn't even come out at the end so we couldn't clap for him." What it sounded like (and which Shawn steadily exaggerated even more with each impression) was "wo did didja djsdkdfhds dsfddn't clap for him."

Hysterical Blindness

I'm not sure if what I watched yesterday with Rachel was a good movie or not, but it was certainly thought-provoking. I guess it made me reflect on my own behavior. I'm really bad at picking battles, or even knowing if I do have a valid reason to get mad, upset or offended, which is a main reason why I usually don't confront people when I have issues with them. Sometimes this works and it goes away. Sometimes it festers. Sometimes I'll be extra nice the next time around someone is mean or thoughtless to me--not because I want them to treat me better (although that IS sometimes part of it) but mostly because I don't want to hurt them or to let them know that they hurt me. That I'm not petty and hold grudges. Dumb, huh. Doesn't really work. I guess I identified with Uma Thurman's character more than I'd prefer. Good times. Anyway, it was so sweet. Due to yesterday's blog, Rachel saw fit to RE-RENT a movie for me (Pieces of April) because she knew I wanted to see it so badly. Sometimes doing a hobby in front of a favorite movie IS the answer to all the world's problems. At least to some of mine. I got a lot done yesterday. Even exercised a bit. I did 15 pushups! And we're talking real ones. And we'll ignore the fact that I used to be able to do over twice that on my mission. Those were the days. Or were they? I won't mention how many sit ups I was able to muster. We'll just say the ratio was a lot more unbalanced. I vacuumed my room, completed three art projects for my class (I'm so behind, it's ridiculous) I wrote two letters; this morning I woke up early and did thirty minutes of scripture study, which always makes me feel better about myself (although never initially... that snooze button is my bestest friend and greatest enemy in the mornings). Anyway, this is Kari's impression of trying to get her ducks in a row. I'mtryingsohard. General Conference is this weekend. Excited, I am.

Good Grief Charlie Brown!

Wow. So don't you love it when your biggest insecurities are confirmed? Where superficially you feel fairly confident about something, but deep down you question it? Especially when said insecurities are said confirmed by people who know what they are talking about? Yeah. Didn't get accepted into the Illustration program. The last time I applied for something where I wasn't 100% sure I'd make it in was BYU. I realize that my portfolio wasn't very good. And in a way I am looking forward to this summer where I can greatly improve it. But what if when I put forth my full effort I still don't get accepted? What then? I'm not surprised I wasn't accepted, but that still doesn't mean I wasn't really disappointed. I guess one of the reasons I don't try as well as I could at things is at least then I have a reason why I didn't make it--"well, I WOULD'VE gotten accepted or gotten a good grade or whatever if I tried my best!"--it's when you do try your best and it still doesn't work that the pain is the most acute. There are no excuses then. So at least academically and sometimes spiritually and okay just life in general it would NOT be accurate to say Itrysohard. I've been living a fallacy. Good times. I just get burnt out so easily. Or if I do really well in something I get uncomfortable with it so I sabotage it. Weird, huh. Welcome to the screwed up inner workings of Kari. Here's what was the most frustrating for me yesterday. I didn't want to go to church. I'll be honest. Being around prettier more grateful friendlier smarter less socially awkward and better dressed peers for some reason just DOESN'T contribute to my spirituality for some reason. I used to think growing up that I didn't compare myself to other people, and that it was ridiculous to do that, but it grows difficult when everyone does it to you. I know it's all in my head. That everyone is just trying to do the best they can, that I sometimes make it difficult (on purpose!) for people to want to approach me or get to know me. I know it's hard at first to connect with me. I'm an acquired taste. I get it. I love the friends I have I love the family I have, and I know they feel the same way for me. Anyway, I digress. I literally pushed myself out the door and walked to church, still fighting myself inside on whether or not I'd go to sunday school or relief society. Fast and Testimony meeting was actually really good. People testified! I wrote a letter to my friend Jessica serving a mission because even though I could feel that my heart was a bit hardened toward everyone (especially the dork sitting next to me that insisted on N*Sync-ing all the hymns--especially the sacrament hymn--COME ON! He was the same dude that when he bore his testimony a few months earlier all he could say was how "freaking" amazing Christ was and his atonement. Wow.) I was too drained and tired to try to soften it. Does that ever happen to you? Somedays you just can't do it. Which just makes you feel even more guilty and resentful towards yourself. Anyway, it gets super crowded after church because there are about three wards fighting to go up and down the stairs. I look over and see artwork on display (because my ward just HAS to meet in the HFAC) and I knew it would just upset me if I went over to look, but crowds make me REALLY uncomfortable and claustrophobic--especially since I'm not assertive enough to push my way through, so I just stand there fuming and red-flashing and aching inside wondering why people won't move the crap out of the way when they can clearly see you trying to get through. ANYWAY, against my better judgment, I walked over and looked. Now here's the thing about artwork at BYU. A lot of it I have little respect for. A lot of the times I find myself judging it on a scale from if I could easily do it or if I couldn't. If I can't do it then I really respect it. If I could easily do it then it just makes me angry that people putting out that kind of work got in and I didn't. I remember freshman year when I had initially decided not to apply for the program (just felt prompted not to at the time) and a girl in the ward HAD been accepted. I looked at some of the drawings she did and got upset inside because I knew I was a better drawer. Isn't that horrible? Art does NOTHING for my charity. And I would go to the MOA and look around back then too and ache because that's what i really wanted to do and to be ABLE to do someday. It was a bit better this time around. But anyway, back to the HFAC. Some of it was amazing and I really liked and admired it. Most abstract art for me though ellicits nothing but eyerolls and copouts. Or that the abstract paintings belong in a hotel or dentist/doctor's office. Am I right? The colors are beautiful, they do evoke emotions and provoke thought, but honestly... yeah. I've said my peace. So when I see an artist's final work on display like that and it still a bit questionable talent-wise, I get REALLY REALLY frustrated. So, in case you were wondering, I ended up leaving right then and there with tears stinging and then talking to my sister on the phone for an hour.

But hey, there's always next year.

I know it's been hard.

Watched Parenthood with Rachel last night while I 'cleaned my room.' I love that movie. It's one of my favorite roles for Steve Martin. He reminds me a lot of my Dad. He tries so hard! But he doesn't lose his temper like Steve's character does. But MAN he worries! Bless his heart. And it doesn't help when the movie begins and ends with "Baby I love to see you smile," so between Randy Newman and Steve Martin, the two men that probably remind me the most of my Dad, it gets a bit hard to be away from home when watching a movie like that. Wow. That was a truly crap sentence, I apologize. But I hope you get the idea. And I had no idea that was Joaquin Phoenix until Rachel pointed it out. I stand all amazed. I think it's Keanu Reeves best role (in a semi-serious movie. He will always be best known and most convincing for his portrayal in Bill and Ted) as well. I'm tired. Trying to get stuff done while also trying to procrastinate. My room is almost all clean and organized. Excited, me.

once a bridesmaid...

So at the reception, we were taking a bunch of pictures, and the lady wanted one of me and Sian, where she's sitting down and I'm kind of crouched down behind her, with my head next to hers. I was a bit concerned about the positioning, since leaning down can sometimes... well... "Okay, I just don't want to show any cleavage" as I was struggling to find a good modest stance, and then opined, "Unless YOU WANT cleavage, then that's fine!" She wasn't amused. They just don't understand that kind of humor apparently in Wyoming. I wonder how many other people I put off or offended. After all, I DID insist on picking out MY OWN bridesmaid fabric, no matter what. At least that was the rumor going around...
Besides that the wedding was beautiful, and so was Sian. Congratulations!

because it goes up to eleven

I totally forgot one of the main things I wanted to include. I found out last week that my practically surrogate Dad from my mission-Chas Raine, suffered a heart attack, which was a bit too reminiscent of when my own Daddy had one on my first day on my mission. Sick. But like my Dad he just stayed in the hospital for like a day and came home with meds and orders to take it easy. Chas can't drive for a month, which sucks for him because he's a milk man (Isn't that so cute! And ensured milk for us missionaries always!). Sounds like he's doing okay though, considering.

And my sister said the sweetest thing! I was complaining about how I'm so miserable in group settings-I'm great until the numbers exceed four or five people, but then I get awkward, and my jokes always go flat. Itrysohard! Anyway, she seemed surprised and said how everyone just RAVED about me and adored me at James and Ally's wedding and how I have a standing invite now to all extended family activities--and these were people that I had never met before that night. I guess it pays to pretend like I had flipped off the bride by scratching my forehead with a certain finger for allegedly staring at me. I guess I can let my hair down a bit as long as my sister is there! Totally made me feel a lot better though. Totally. Even Joanne, who's my age and married and Jared's little sister, called up Stacey and commented on how fun I was or funny or whatever. Awww... Note to self: insults always work. How to win friends but alienate others.

I had the weirdest dream last night, and it's already fading but I'm going to try my best to remember as much of it as I can--it was SOOO vivid at the time!
I dreamed that I was planning a trip to my friend Jessie's (BFF FOREVER since the 7th grade and still in touch) and I was on campus, but there was like NO ONE ELSE THERE, and I realized campus had been taken over by like marshall law or some sort of evil terrorist group or something. Anyway, it was broad daylight and I had to try to hide. I first went to a bathroom, and Poncho was in there scrubbing away at the floor with a mop, but it kept getting muddier and dirtier.
Anyway I end up leaving, looking desperately for somewhere to hide, and I even considered the exact same place where Marmot hid four years ago when we were playing sardines on campus and we tried looking for him for about 45 minutes, and nearly just went home because we thought he had done the same. But it was really obvious in bright day light so I hid like under this ladder type thing, but someone saw me go in there, and followed me--a soldier guy, and he accused me of having a gun or something, and I didn't and demonstrated as much, and he surprisingly just left me alone.

I then found myself in this small but deep auditorium, and Poncho and Tyler (of Tyler Bell) were both there! I was sooo relieved and expressed as much and then they just both looked at each other and laughed at me for being so naive--they were part of the militant group as well! So they were chasing me around the auditorium, trying to capture me, when I found a way out, which led to this big open balcony type thing, where there were loads of other people. I was able to hide among them, and then I slipped away to the sea that just HAPPENED to be there, and me and a small handful of other people, that may or may not have included Janay or Amy, hid in small wooden gaps in a boat thing, and we sailed away. I couldn't get a hold of Jessie on my phone for some reason, and then we landed and went into this small gas station type store, looking around. Finally I met up with Jessie and it was great!

I may find out sooner than expected at whether or not I was accepted into the Illustration program or not. I received an E-mail today saying that those who applied for that program and a handful of others can come pick up our slides. Luckily I had also applied for another program as a back up that wasn't included in that first handful. Blech. It'll probably be another week or two. Can't.. hardly... wait... really. I'm not emotionally prepared to find out this early!

Only through the power of goodness

I've had a very dramatic past couple of weeks--some of the drama happening to me, or those very close to me. Where to start... (Yeah, I have homework to do, but alas... really don't feel like it!)

• I ran out of checks in my checkbook, and couldn't find the fillers ANYWHERE. And I really needed them for bills and tithing and such. And I looked EVERYWHERE. I calmed down and just silently prayed and it just popped in my head--check the jacket closet in the hallway--and I did and it was there!
• There was a power outage. I was having kind of a tough day--not really tough for any reason, but just feeling the weight of the world all the same. I got home, thinking that my roommate had resigned the electricity bill in her name, and found out by pitch blackness of my home (very indicative!) that Alan the TPM manager must not have gotten a hold of her. Good times. I was freaking cold that night, even with five blankets on top of me, and just bawled my eyes out. Haven't felt that much anguish or that out of control in such a long time. Probably not since my mission or freshman year. You can't move but you can't sit still... At least Shawn had brought me over matches so I could read by candle light to settle down and go to sleep. THAT was a rough night.
• The next day my Dad had E-mailed me--apparently he had sent me a package of lotions and stuff from a lady he knew from Port Alberni growing up. He asked me how I was and I had mentioned how things had been a bit rough for the past few days. About an hour later, he calls me up, and then later my SISTER calls me up and also tells me to talk to Mom. I ended up skipping Biology to talk to my sister, and we just talked for over an hour about everything--systematically going through all my problems and issues and worries and anxieties and at the end I felt so light and so much better. We're so similar in a lot of ways, and by the end of it, it was just a relief to know there are people out there with not necessarily the same problems but at least the same attitude as me. So yeah felt so much better about all the facets of my life. Thanks Shtashe!
• When I called my mom next (who also had recently sent me a package of clay and goodies! a week or two before) apparently my brother Gabe and my Dad are going to go on a roadtrip to Mount Rushmore for my Dad's work--weeklong and my brother is planning ALL of it out! I suggested to him (on Sunday) that he should do a detour on the way back through Utah (So Shawn and Rachel can meet my Gabe and my Dad and plus I like them both myself!) but he's like "um... I'll think about it" She was so tickled about it, as was I. I don't think my Dad's patience will last that long, as patient as he really is.
• My dad bought a guitar that's made from the parts of other guitars. He's SOOOOO excited about it. And he doesn't get excited about things. Kind of like Shawn in that regard.
• I've started writing letters again to people on my mission! I got big time chewed out by my last companion I served with for not doing better, so I've made a goal for a letter a day on average, and so far I've been doing really well! I think I'm only a letter behind for the past two weeks.
• I've also started to get up early to read scriptures, having struggled to find time during the day to do it for my New Testament class. It makes such a difference! I'm always on time or early for work now, which hasn't happened for a month or two. And that's not the only difference it makes! :)
• I've cracked down on that dress for Sian's wedding. Still urked that Shawn can't come *fist shakeage!* but on the bright side he won't see me look like a freaking gold tulip. Yeah, satin and gold just ISN'T my fabric or color to wear. I was explaining to my coworker today that I was a hardcore cotton-wearer--I don't like to wear silky or satiny things. Just feels weird. Kind of part of the reason why I LOVE getting my makeup and hair done, but I HATE dressing up in really fancy clothing. Can't I get married in cords and a sweater? Gosh! Maybe the dress will look better once I get the skirt done. I hope...
• I stayed home from work and one of three classes yesterday. And wrote Shawn a song. And watched loads of Jeeves and Wooster. I think we've reached a bit of a cropper here Jeeves! And did loads of laundry (haha mind the pun).
• I met Rachel's folks and brother! Man it made me miss Gabe. SOOO CUTE! And Rex gave me a hug at the end just like Gabe would--they're standing right in front of me and yet they still somehow manage to just do an awkward one handed side hug. I still don't know how they do it. Rachel is so much like her mom it was awesome! I love her mom--she gave me at least two proper mom hugs too which I truly appreciated. Been awhile since I've gotten a real proper tight hug. Also made me miss my mission. I was well-known for the great hugs I gave, if I say so myself :). And it turned out that her mom and my folks served in the same mission--she had me call up my folks right there and then and she talked to them both! How funny is that! Anyway, that's about it. It's a small world after all. Now try to get THAT song out of your head!

Shawniggins

Shawniggins
or: What’s the matter? Aren’t you... hungry?
by Kari A Pedersen

(First verse and chorus:)
Even though I’m crap
At writing a song
Here’s a go
For my boyfriend Shawn

He argues over pizza slices
and dilemmas of the omnivore
But draws a blank at politics
Preferring Harry Potter lore

He’s amazing, cute and lush
his very presence is a rush
I never fail to blush
Holy crap dang I have such a crush!

Repeat chorus

Why am I so awkward?
Although he is quite as well
He’s in a band called Tyler Bell
and the farmer’s in the dell

When will he cut his hair?
Oh wait, he already did
He’s nobody’s little weasel
But he’s great with little kids

He’s ticklish in the armpits
But not anywhere else
He likes to cook a crock pot roast
And in his arms I melt!

Repeat chorus but change
“Here’s a go” to “Here was a go”