Guard your carnal treasure!

My sister and me, and then my Daddy and Mommy (that's probably the first time I've ever seen them engage in any real affection... te, hee) and then Ally me and Stacey--Ally is the one Stacey's husband's little brother married. His name is James. The one of Jared and my Dad--the three of us went for a walk/hike thing. Beautiful view (notice the photo of me about to push Jared off the cliff. I guess the vista inspired me.).


How is there any question? I definitely have the cutest bestest family ever in the history of humans.

Although this one makes it arguable. And he's MY twin? What?! REALLY!?!? Him?!
I have a lovely sister. She just sent me a couple of CD's of family get-togethers and such, and $20, to pay me back for a three dollar thing of india ink I had bought for my class that she decided she just HAD TO HAVE. I was joking when I told her she had to pay me back, but now I'm glad I said it! :) These are pictures from our Canadian family reunion and then a rock climbing stint in Colorado. Mmm.... I love and hate rock climbing. It's so addicting, and yet I'm cussing under my breath and calling Jared a bastard every other second. Good times. I love this picture I took of my dad... I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!!!!!!!!

Happy two months (fer reals this time) Shawn!

I'm really ashamed. I'm wearing all brown today, and I thought my pant legs were wide enough, but they weren't, so when I walk you can see my bright pink Santa Claus socks from miles away. I would've liked that in high school, but not so much now.

itrysohard

Short People got no reason to liiiiiiiiiive

You know you've hit rock bottom when after a 2 AM session of puking your guts out, passing out on the heater in the front room until morning (what MUST my roommate think of me?!), finishing a REALLY funny book (one of the highlights of the day) watching dumb movies like MI-III, thankfully having two discerning friends come over to keep you company for a few hours, you hear the Randy Newman song "Short People" on the radio at 10 PM and COMPLETELY LOSE IT because it makes you miss your Dad like NO OTHER because whenever you'd get sick he'd make you the best tomato lipton soup (you just take normal lipton noodle soup and add half a can of tomato juice to it), and the most amazing grilled cheese sandwiches to help you feel better.

So guess who hit rock bottom.


I suppose that's what sucks about having the best dad ever in the history of humans. And Dads. Mortal ones, anyway. My Dad introduced me to Randy Newman at a very young age, and I've loved Randy ever since, and no matter what the song, whenever I hear a Randy Newman song I instantly think of him. My Dad, that is.


Anyway, on the bright side this morning I started my period. So although I may have cramps, I can now blame the mood swings on an external locus of control. Good times.

As a side note, I strongly encourage anyone looking to live dangerously (as I actually said I would when I picked these up) to not do so to the extent of buying the guacamole flavoured Pringles, at least from Smiths. BAD IDEA. BOOOO!!! They don't taste nearly as good coming up as they do going down, even though there isn't that much of a difference. And O the way it burns your throat. Mmmmm.....



The funny book I was referring to is "One for The Money" by Janet Evanovich. I think I found a new favorite series to read. A yeah F.

I also started "Angela's Ashes," and after the first 20 pages, I can already tell I'm really going to enjoy it. Especially after the dedication page practically mirrored the stamp I bought at JoAnns a few weeks ago that said "I love you, admire you and respect you." A stamp that horrifying is just asking to be purchased and used for facetiously evil means. ASKING FOR IT. Didn't expect practically the same message to be used for sincere means in a pulitzer-prize winning memoir.

This is cruel irony. I went food shopping (Janay took me and I didn't find out until we were already there that she didn't even need to, and just went because she knew I needed to! If that's not a true BFF Forever, then I don't know what is) a couple of days ago, and only bought chocolate pudding and Reeses Peanut Butter puffs. Both of which the chocolate content is negligible. O cruel cruel fate. And O the poofiness of it all (it's ALL FOR YOU, Rachel!). I did cut my bangs yesterday, in a fit of frustrative rage. Yes, that is a word. I promise. At least Rachel and Heather bought me some Reeses Peanut Butter cups. King size. mmmm.... Uh oh... cramps are making comeback. I'd better finish before I write something REALLY embarrassing and personal.

All I have to do is Dream.

I think people get appetizers from a carnal greed that rests in the subconscious of all humans.

I'm confused, too. I probably shouldn't have copied it, but it was from an independent study I had to grade for my psychology teacher of a boss. Some dude wrote that as to why people get appetizers while they wait for their main meal.

I know.

I'm supposed to be working on a biology paper right now. Sick sick sick.

Okay so super weird super vivid dream I had last night. I was in this huge high school, like in the middle of the night--it was pretty dark inside, with mostly a few lights and lamps from outside keeping it lit. All of a sudden, one of these freaky monsters (that look like the ones that attack Hellboy near the beginning of the movie in the subways) starts attacking this woman, who must've been around 60. I think she was one of the janitors or something. She struggles with it, and staggers towards the steps, and if I recall correctly, just falls--not down the stairs, but between them (kind of like those circular stairs you see in hotels and stuff).
Anyway, so I'm freaking out. Apparently there was some sort of plague of them suddenly, and the area, and possibly world had to get prepared to fend them off. I run home, and about six other people--Shawn, Rachel, Amy, this 50-something yr old investigator guy of the Elders from the Newcastle ward named Albert, and possibly Heather and/or Janay. The others are a bit fuzzy. Anyway we're at home now--the group of us with just my mom, and we're trying to board up the house so these freaky creatures can't get in. All of a sudden outside we just see this HUGE parade of kids--like between the ages of 3-10, marching, with picket signs, and dressed up in Halloween costumes (what can this all MEAN?!). Their message was basically that we were all overreacting and that there WAS no threat. We went to Walmart, considering hiding out in there among the stalls, but the monsters were there, too, and it seemed a bit too exposed and easy. We went back home (actually I think the Walmart incident was before the protest march) and even though we thought we had locked everything up, we turned and there were all these little kids--the same ones! They were mad at us, and we realized that they were crawling down through the chimney. We had to scoot them outside, and close the fireplace door thing so they couldn't get in any more. And then we had to figure out where the safest place was to hide. In reality, we do have a sort of dirt room in my old house--just an unfinished room at the bottom of the house that has a dirt floor, hence the name. We went down there, which was a lot bigger then it is in real life. And there was this sort of makeshirt house/trailer looking thing. We go inside it to hide, and there's this huge cow inside. (WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?!?!) And all this crap and weird white thick foamy liquid on the ground. We clean it and push it all outside and sit there inside arguing and talking about whether or not we really were in danger. Oooh I think Annalisa might have been there too. Hmm.... anyway, I think I go back upstairs to talk to my mom for a minute, and I come back down and they had put down the frame, and folded it up, and now were inside this tent-like thing. They said it was more comfortable that way and they were still safe. I think we just stayed there for a long time and then woke up.

ANOTHER DREAM I had, which was from last night, told in prose:

Kari says:
I had the WORST dream last night. IT was so bad that I woke up from it, which I NEVER do [at 3:30ish]
Janay says:
what was it??
Kari says:
I dreamed that we had this small family reunion, but there were members from both sides of the family (which doesn't happen)
Kari says:
And I brought Shawn
Kari says:
and for some reason we brought Nicole as well
Janay says:
haha
Kari says:
and people kept going up to me and telling me how BEAUTIFUL she was [gee thanks]
Kari says:
and we all ate dinner together
Kari says:
and afterwards she got up, said she was feeling sick, and went to the bathroom and just started throwing up
Kari says:
Shawn explained by saying that she hadn't had a full meal in months, so her stomach wasn't used to it
Kari says:
she was resting for awhile, and Shawn was watching TV, so I went over and sat on his lap.
Kari says:
Then Nicole came out, and I saw her and started to get up so as to avoid an awkward scene, but Shawn threw me off even faster, so it seemed like he was trying to hide the fact that we had a relationship
Janay says:
Kari!
Janay says:
That's so sad!
Kari says:
it gets worse
Kari says:
anyway a little bit later
Kari says:
I was sitting down watching TV
Kari says:
and then he like totally starts wrestling with her! I think to cheer her up for feeling so sick. And he picks her up and throws her on the couch
Kari says:
and joins her on it and just goofs around with her --TOTALLY flirting and laughing and all over each other
Kari says:
and I'm sitting RIGHT THERE
Kari says:
so I get so frustrated that I get up, place the channel changer where their heads are on the couch, and go downstairs and curl up on the couch and I totally just LOSE IT
Kari says:
and I'm bawling, and then I hear something behind me
Kari says:
and it's some lady that's family but I have no idea who she is and I just say "OH CRAP" and she's like "um... is everything okay?" and I said "oh I'm fine, just PMSing" and she's like "Yeah I know how that goes." and she leaves me alone. And then I wake up.
Janay says:
sick!
Kari says:
it hurt sooooooooooooooooooo much!
Janay says:
well I hope you're going to be mad at Shawn all day for what he did during your dream!
Kari says:
I'm certainly feeling a bit distant!

The only thing I remember from the dream I had after that one was it looked like I had some sort of huge sliver in the side of my right thumb. I cut off the top layer of skin (not to bleed, just a surface cut), and started to pull it out. about an inch of this blackish plastic stick came out. I thought that was it but then I looked closer and realized there was more there. I kind of run my finger up against my thumb to try to squeeze it out and finally there was enough that I could get a grip on it, and I pulled it out and it was a navy blue crayola crayon, without the wrapper! WHAT CAN THIS POSSIBLY MEAN?!?!

I really hope I start surfing the crimson wave soon, or I'm going to have to face the possibility that I'm manic depressive.

*sneeze*cough*hack*sniffle*

So I was in bed asleep by like 9:30 last night. My body, to express its eternal gratitude and appreciation subsequently thanked me in the morning by greeting me with a sore throat. And now three hours later, my nose is ever so slightly starting to run. Ihatemylife.
Beyond that life is good. Since Josh and I aren't really talking any more, I still have his sore throat spray that I borrowed like two months ago from the LAST time I was sick, so I was able to use that this morning. So I guess the moral of the story is sometimes undependable self-centered thoughtless friends DO come in handy.

I keep having weird dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was in the forest, and there were all these little tiny creatures (SOOO cute!) where their body was a leaf, and their head was a raindrop, with little features on it and everything, but then one rainy night their biggest foe appeared. It was SO freaky! In this meadow the ground started to swirl as if it were made of water--proper building up of waves of grass and dirt and everything--very cool but freaky. The thing itself was like a giant version of them, and it would attack by picking up the little guys and extracting the water from their heads, so all that was left was their leaf body. It was so sad, because the main little guy that was showing us around and helping us was one of the first to be, I don't know, eaten? Stupid me set my alarm earlier this morning than I really needed to, so I woke up before the whole thing was resolved. I remember at one point during the dream I was hiding under a piano bench.

New Year Resolutions are going surprisingly well so far! Hopefully this illness doesn't completely suck all my will to live, which being sick usually does. Sigh.

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.

Oh my goodness I'm so pleased with myself! And not just because I got new mascara so now my eyelashes are discernible again. I had no idea they were there! It's funny how dramatic the difference is when you get new mascara. I hadn't realized how dried out my old stuff was. I was taking a bunch of pictures of myself with my folk's digital camera, and I took the only remotely passable photo and cropped it to the only passable portion, hence the photo. My heart. Anyway, I'm so pleased with myself! I was so shoot... what's the word? It's been so long absent from my vocabulary I've completely forgotten it.... I was PRODUCTIVE! That's it! I woke up at like 8:30 to find a missed phone call from my coworker. Apparently we were due back to work on WEDNESDAY. Pshyeah right. She wasn't feeling well and I hadn't gotten any normal sleep for the past three or four days (Sleepness nights and six hour naps during the day...), plus with having a strict diet of angel hair pasta or rice (and contrary to popular belief, olive oil is NOT a suitable substitute for butter *shudder*) due to a near empty fridge and cabinet, my eating habits were even worse than normal. So I gracefully declined from going to work yesterday, but came today. Anyway, I resigned to my post on the couch to watch movies. Everything was okay at first--stuck in Mona Lisa Smile--huge Maggie Gyllenhaul fan, even if she does play a slut with a heart in that movie, and any movie with Topher Grace is okay by me, and the guy that fell for the cello player--oh didn't he just break your heart when he looked at her with so much hurt in his eyes?! Man alive! Anyway sorry I digress. The problem started when I got the utility bill. I won't say how much it was, but our average summer utility bill was at least a fifth of it. Isn't that SICK! Then I stuck in The Prince and Me (desperate! The only redeemable part in that movie was the makeout scene in the library--if that's not a steamy place to make out then I don't know what is) and got so upset by the end of it that I didn't even finish it (and I ALWAYS finish movies unless sleep prevents it so), I just got up, freaked out and started cleaning. I tidied the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes, the dining room, stuck all the Christmas trash in the garage (our trash is overflowing so it's going to take a couple of weeks to dwindle), cleaned the front room, did my laundry, cleaned my room (which took like four hours because I organised quite a bit as well), crocheted quite a bit, even painted my toenails and shaved my legs (unheard of in Kariland--especially the toenails part), and sewed on fourteen buttons on my jacket that mysteriously had 9 of its 14 buttons break in the course of two weeks. I read my scriptures, beat Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, I threw away SOOO much stuff, too, which for me is always a breath of fresh air. I hate hoarding stuff. Part of that being a sideproduct of my mission where we would visit clinical certifiable packrats where they just had piles and piles of just CRAP EVERYWHERE, and would refuse to throw ANY of it away, no matter how gross or useless or dumb it was, and it really freaked me out. And I hate clutter anyway, so WHEW. I watched the Phantom of the Opera last night while I was sewing on those buttons, too. So... is it just me or is the Phantom like LOADS hotter than Raoue7QL? Especially the kiss between Christine and the Phantom. Perhaps I just like a little danger. I just felt the urge to braid Raoul's hair and put ribbons in it. We won't go into the urge I felt for the Phantom. Even with that disfiguring scar (and perhaps growing up in a church where we believe in the resurrection, so I always have that in mind...) he was still loads dreamier than his competition. *Holy crapping hot dang*--especially after finding out that he was the same actor from Dear Frankie. In closing, I salute the Honeymooners. Alice, you're the greatest.