D.A.R.E.

thirty eight days left
cute house! It's on the "tree streets" as they're apparently called. My aunt told me. Cedar Avenue. two seconds away from: the creamery, my work, subway, campus, a church, and the temple. This could get very dangerous. Or very helpful. Or both. We'll see!

up to four prescription medications now. Including a narcotic. Isn't that exciting? Remember that part when Meredith broke her pelvic bone and Creed started listing off all these drugs to see which one Meredith was on? Kinda feels like that. I'm talking about the Office, for those of you who aren't following. All this on a week with basically four mid terms. OH MY LIFE!! I missed work and school today, and it looks like I'll be doing the same tomorrow. This morning I woke up a few times gasping for breath, and having to really focus on regulating my breathing pattern. Sick, huh. Shawn was super sweet. He stayed home from school and work, too, made breakfast, lunch and dinner for me. Called the Health Center to see what we should do since it seemed I was getting worse instead of better (that's where the fourth prescribed medication, the narcotic, comes in, that's supposed to help me sleep), and basically catered to my every need. Is he a keeper or what?

Let's see if I'll be able to actually do any homework tomorrow. Today I was in such pain I couldn't even play my favorite VIDEO GAME. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?!?!

If anything, this whole experience has helped solidify my already solidified knowledge that Shawn is perfection itself for me, and I have made the best decision possible in the history of humans.

our house, in the middle of the street our house

We got the house we wanted! It's thirty seconds from where I work and forty seconds from campus. I know, right? And it has a washer and dryer and everything. The only thing I DON'T like about it is the sink is about the size of two small cups, but never mind. Good reason to stay on top of the dishes. The carpet is great. It's CHEAP. We live in a basement under a young family (two kids...apparently it's noisy between 5 and 7, hopefully not TOO noisy). We've got a backyard (I hope they clean up their stuff! YEEEESH!) which we can do some gardening in! Yay! So excited! That's such a huge load off! Here's Shawn's and my reaction when we found out:
I know. I'm ashamed of myself. I'll do better with a more decent picture next time, rather than a rip off pop icon one. Something like that. Anyway, at least that's ONE thing off my chest. Huzzah.

No Rachel, you don't get to know where we're moving to. Heh heh heh. Just kidding... maybe...

I'm freaking out man!!!!

So for the past several days, I've been becoming increasingly short of breath, and my chest has been feeling tight and painful. Finally, Shawn talked me into contacting the Health Center (which I did by E-mail. Of course.). They said I should make an appointment with the doctor. Bleh. I called finally, and they suggested I go right into urgent care, rather than wait for an appointment today. So I went in and started describing my symptoms, and right away the receptionist calls over a nurse, who starts firing different questions at me (does it hurt here? here? here? if you do this?). Most of the time the answer was no which seemed to relieve her. Anyway, I finally saw a doctor (thanks Janay for driving, and for you and Shawn being there!), who also asked loads of questions, checked my pulse among other things, did this breath force thing (is around 300 really low? he made me do it twice because it didn't seem too accurate to him), and decided to have me get chest x rays. After he said that my heart and lungs looked great (well that was the gist of it among all this medical jargon--yay), and had me step up and step down thing with a measuring thing on my finger, and said that was fine, too. Guess what his diagnosis was?




I have six months to live.



No, not really.



I probably have a mild and hopefully temporary form of anxiety. I know, right? I nearly puked in his face. So I'm on drowsy-causing (as a side effect) medication. I've taken two so far, but I've only felt fatigued, the breathing/heart difficulties are still there. Hopefully those'll scoot soon. Good times.

GOOD TIMES!!

And another example of people not thinking...

Girl, 13, gets detention for hugging two friends

Illinois middle school bans public displays of affection; parents urge change

MASCOUTAH, Ill. - Two hugs equals two days of detention for 13-year-old Megan Coulter.

The eighth-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friends Friday.

“I feel it is crazy,” said Megan, who was to serve her second detention Tuesday after classes at Mascoutah Middle School.

“I was just giving them a hug goodbye for the weekend,” she said.

Megan’s mother, Melissa Coulter, said the embraces weren’t even real hugs — just an arm around the shoulder and slight squeeze.

“It’s hilarious to the point of ridicule,” Coulter said. “I’m still dumbfounded that she’s having to do this.”

District Superintendent Sam McGowen said that he thinks the penalty is fair and that administrators in the school east of St. Louis were following policy in the student handbook.

It states: “Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”

Parents urge change in policy
Coulter said she and her husband told their daughter to go ahead and serve her detentions
because the only other option was a day of suspension for each skipped detention.

“We don’t agree with it, but I certainly don’t want her to get in more trouble,” Coulter said.

The couple plan to attend the next school board meeting to ask board members to consider rewording the policy or be more specific in what is considered a display of affection.

“I’m just hoping the school board will open their eyes and just realize that maybe they shouldn’t be punishing us for hugs,” Megan said.

OH MY LIFE!

the search for housing continues.
46 more days. Might as well be 46 billion gazillion. That's what it FEELS LIKE.
The end.

i sentence you to... eat bleach. and die. in any order you'd prefer.

So the truth came out last night. On Sunday I had confronted my roommates about the report about me breaking the honor code. All of them denied it, which I expected. I didn't really think any of them had reported me. I had assumed it was one of their dates. The subject changed quickly, so I didn't press the issue on who they thought had reported me. Gosh.
Then the plot thickens.
Yesterday Shawn and I went over to my house for a couple of minutes because I couldn't find the combination to my lock on my storage unit. Natalie was the only one home at the time. Shawn made a joke that he was just going to stand in the doorway of my room, and not go actually inside it, so please don't report him, and that's when Natalie came over (who has had boys in her room on several occasions with the door open, so she was the last person I suspected) and said that after I left on Sunday, MERIDITH had mentioned something to her and Christa that was to the effect that it was her that had said something to the front desk. So not only does she narc behind my back, but she lies about it and then tells my roommates. As if they wouldn't tell me.

And no, I'm not planning on doing anything about it. Some people's children!

I had to create a constellation and write a story about it. Here it is:

The Praying Mantis

The Praying Mantis is known for devouring the male after love-making. The legend follows that if someone accidentally wishes for love on one of the stars from this constellation, he will be first blessed with a great love, but then it will go horribly, horribly wrong, often in creative and surprising ways. It pays to double check the constellations of the sky before you choose which star you wish upon—even if you desire to wish on the first star you see. Some nights it’s best not to wish at all, and be happy with what you are given!

The Praying Mantis is noted for its unique and skinny body, and entreating arms. Many centuries ago, the female mantis was praying for a mate. He eventually did arrive, and they fell immediately in love. One night she woke up to find that he had gone for the night. She fell back asleep and that morning she saw that he had returned. The female knew in her heart he was cheating on her, so that night, after they made love, she ate him. And never felt better. Decades later, when she died, her spirit rose up to the sky and became a constellation and the bane of all hopeful lovers everywhere.

Well Janay thought it was funny.

a few misconceptions

I love my roommates. I think they're great. I feel grateful that I have them as roommates. I'm even setting up one of them with one of Shawn's roommates (on a double date with Shawn and me). I feel comfortable with them. They're all goofy and easygoing and approachable which makes things a bit more laidback and fun. Me just need sleep and me-time sometimes and me don't always get it. Wow, I apologize for that last sentence. But that's all. I just don't want you guys thinking I'm living in a state of hell. I'm just engaged. There's a difference.

Unless it WAS one of them that reported me. Then they'll have to answer to ME for it. Not really. I'm not exactly the confrontational type. OH MY LIFE. EVERYTHING IS WRONG.

Was it just me, or did the commercial Michael make last night in The Office break your heart like mine, it was so good?

Or how eye lurned 2 stop being a h8ter & luv da bomb

Right. So someone had the CHEEK to report me to Roman Gardens for breaking the honor code. What was the crime? A couple of nights ago I let Shawn come into my room for two minutes to kneel and say prayer together, with the door open, because a billion people were in the front room watching a movie. And I'm pretty sure they continued to do so past curfew (I'm not entirely sure because I went to bed at 10:30 and put in earplugs to block out at least some of the noise. A common occurrence these days). So I got a note last night posted to my door (I thought it was going to be a sweet note from my visiting teacher or something. Nope), from the office saying that I had been reported for breaking the honor code, and if it happens again, "they may be forced to start the eviction process." Yeah. I don't think it was either of my 20 yr old roommates. They both have allowed guys to go into their rooms to talk or look at their computer for a few minutes. If it was my room-roommate, she probably did it as just a passing comment without even thinking about it. Just some exaggerated side gossip for entertainment purposes as part of a larger conversation about something else. To a peer working at the front desk. She's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

And if I had been reported, I'd appreciate them going to me as well about it, to see if it was even a substantiated claim. That's hardly fair to have an anonymous complaint about someone and not go to them to see if it's even true. I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!!

I think most likely it was one of the stupid guys over that night. Gosh, if you have a problem with me like that, I'd appreciate if you'd come to me FIRST before making ridiculous assumptions. They probably felt so good about themselves for doing the "right" thing. Self-righteous #*$#*$@#$. I have no patience for people like that. The cheek THE CHEEK.

And this on the night my period starts and my cramps wreak havoc on my body. I was so upset I barely slept last night. And I may have squirted a few angry tears. WHERE DO PEOPLE GET OFF? I just want to be married already and not have to deal with idiots half my age any more.

For the record, Shawn has been in my room for any real length of time three times:
1. helping me move in
2. helping me with my laundry
3. praying together

Wow. We're just destined for hell aren't we? I hope whoever reported us, when they get engaged, they get evicted without prior warning or notice. You try to find two minutes of privacy to talk with God together. I know, I'm such a good person. They should erect a statue.

The least they could do is tell me who reported me along with their address so I can express my appreciation.





















Next time I'm going to ask everyone in the front room to kindly turn off the movie or to be quiet for whatever length of time so Shawn and I can pray and say goodnight.

Anxiously engaged

We're at T-less than two months now until take off. Yay. I wish it would happen NOWWWWW though. I'm so tired of having to share my room with someone I didn't pick. And someone that's six years younger than me. And someone the same gender as me. And someone that can't hear a lick. I mean... what? Basically I'm tired of loud people who continue to be loud late into the night when people are OBVIOUSLY trying to sleep (A movie full blast at midnight? really?) Or friends of roommates who come over when you're OBVIOUSLY watching a movie, and it's near the end where it gets exciting and then they sit three feet away and yell and laugh and talk really loud to each other and you want to die, but kill them first. Although that would defeat the purpose of trying to get away from them. Hmm... who to do in... It's a quandary! The loudness factor goes for both housemates and neighbors. I'm going to spell it neighbours. I'm sure it's a bit irritating for them having to deal with an engaged couple, where I'm either always over at Shawn's house, or vice versa, but STILL! GIVE US A BREAK! T-2 months!!! It'll be nice to have people over, too, that were invited by either Shawn or me, and therefore we know them and like them. That will be real nice. Gosh I'm cranky today! Sorry! Wait, no I'm not sorry. I'm TIRED.

other pictures for whatever reason were ridiculously deemed unfit

I actually really like this first one, but thought it was a bit much for an engagement picture. The second is fantastic, and the third, I thought we looked way cute in it, although it IS a bit suggestive. Which was the point. But not for an engagement picture :-)

Now I can die in peace

Shawn beat Tetris Attack yesterday. Hours we spent fighting it, taking turns trying to beat (I think it was the one-player Round Game version) the last guy. Bowser. It was weird how it went from fairly easy to impossibly hard within two bosses. Now we can start doing homework again, and lead responsible, healthy lives. Until the next game comes along.

And all this while watching Godzilla on TV. WHAT THE CRAP WERE THEY THINKING WITH THAT MOVIE?! I'm so confused. I'm a big Matthew Broderick fan, so I was shocked to see such poor acting in the film, including that which came from him. "I thought you were my friend." ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I would steal your top secret information too if you said things like that to me. Yeeeeeesh. They obviously spent all their money on computer graphics, and I guess relied on the actors to improvise their way through it, given minimal direction. Or maybe too much, because I'm sure they could do better than that if left to their own devices. I just don't know who I AM any more.

Here ye be

Here are two of the 130 pictures we took. There are more, but Shawn's got the CD (I left it in your laptop last night. The disk on top of your suitcase in the front room is the one for your mum. Just a sidenote for Shawn. Sorry). I thought the top one was one of the cuter ones, but my face is partially hidden in the shade, and it's ridiculous, since we're sitting on top of a stone cougar. Sick. The bottom one is the one we finally decided on for our engagement pictures. Yay. I know it looks like I only have one leg. get over yourself.

(click on it)

holy awkward hand placement, batman!

Two months and nineteen days. WAH! So... I think we're doing engagement pictures this weekend. Which will be fun. Although I'm now regretting my addiction to the facebook group "Awkward Engagement Pictures Rocks My Socks." They've made me INCREDIBLY self-conscious about how my own engagement photos are going to look. Because let's face it, no matter what you do, it will always teeter on the edge of being too much (WOW--REALLY didn't want to see that! Kissing is NOT okay for a photo), too weird (how many arms do they have? Is she choking him? Their hands are WHERE?!), or just awkward, period (it looks so staged or ridiculous, or they look like strangers that just met.). If you have no idea what I'm talking about, WHEW, because I hope you won't judge the final outcome as harshly as I will, or those that have seen the group. As if I weren't already self-conscious enough. Do you want examples? I'll GIVE you examples:






















































Do you guys UNDERSTAND now why I'm so flipping freaked out now? Yeah. At least my Uncle Mykal is taking the pictures, and hopefully my aunt Terri will be there to help, and between how self-conscious Shawn and I are, that will prevent the icky pictures (I mean that sexually), although it may heighten the overall awkwardness. But Mykal and Terri are way cool, and really good at making people relax around them, so I think that'll help. OH MY LIFE!

Something I AM looking forward to--we're doing the tasting thing at the luncheon place tomorrow. But it's during the Office and My Name is Earl. ARGH! Why aren't people making more of an effort to work around my Thursday night lineup? I'M SO CONFUSED!

KIDDING! And if I wasn't supposed to post these pictures, Shawn made me do it. Click on them to get a better look. I dare you. Although you may regret it. *shudder*

mawwiage is what bwings us togetheh today...

eighty-four more days.


and counting.



sigh.



SIGH!

I will out-spell your @$$ any time, anywhere.

So I KNOW this shouldn't bother me. But it DOES. A LOT. The afternoon crew uses my address signature, which looks like this:

Kari Pedersen

Financial Secretary

Clinical Psychology PhD Program

(801) 422-5235

Clinical_Psychology@byu.edu

Because I guess they haven't figured out how to add their own (how very official, right?). At least the dude that sits at my desk. Which is fine. It doesn't bother me too much. Unless they send out E-mails that look like THIS:

If you have not already responded to the department regarding the social next Friday, could you please respond to this email. We need to know weather you’re going or not. Thanks

Kari Pedersen

Financial Secretary

Clinical Psychology PhD Program

(801) 422-5235

Clinical_Psychology@byu.edu

There are TWO THINGS VERY wrong with this picture. One rhymes with whether. And the other is an apparent AWOL period. I easily fall victim to grammar mistakes. But NEVER spelling. Weather? REALLY?! So people think I was the one to send that, and that I'm AN IDIOT. Needless to say, I created for him his OWN E-mail signature. Which I would include here, but I don't want him to know that THAT was why I made him his own. And not out of the kindness and goodness of my heart.

I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

three months and three days left. OH MY LIFE!!! Being engaged sucks. If it were up to me, I'd have the engagement period be a week. At the MAX.

(imagine a video of shawn pouting)

I know Shawn. I know. It upsets me, too.
Kari

cross the t's and dot the... lowercase j's...

I had the craziest dream last night! I dreamed that out of the blue Mike Myers called. YEAH. I KNOW! And we talked forever about everything, and I kept worrying that I was boring him (sometimes I would panic and fall silent, and think, "Oh crap, what should I say to keep him on the phone?) but he'd always assure me that it was fine. He mostly wanted to know what real life was like, and I remember recommending a few places (maybe J-dawgs?) and things to try out, that I think he was even considering putting in his movies. My family found out, and they got really excited, so I asked, and he said it was okay to pass the phone over to them. So I did, and went downstairs, and could overhear my mom suddenly start singing "Old MacDonald." What?! My aunt Terri was there, and she talked to him, as well as my Dad. They all said later how nice he was, and my mom was later embarrassed by some of the things she said, and for getting too excited about things. That's my mom!

In other news: 3 months and 12 days left before Shawn and I get married. Sigh.

Last week when I committed suicide as a birthday present...

Rachel and I were discussing, "The Omen," several months ago, when that chick is standing on top of the building on Damien's birthday, and she says, "It's all for you Damien. It's all for you!" Or something like that. And so that's where the title comes from--us making fun of it (although that line was all ME. IT WAS ALL ME RACHEL!). Anyway, I was able to record about fifty seconds of Ben Kweller's concert at "in the Venue" on Shawn's birthday. I think this is Janay's favorite song of his so far, so Janay, this is all for you.

And thanks guys. I like my ring, too. Subtle but still different. LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEE.
Love you all.
Especially Shawn.
Sigh.
107 more days.

Whoops. Sorry it's sideways. Itrysohard.