because it goes up to eleven

I totally forgot one of the main things I wanted to include. I found out last week that my practically surrogate Dad from my mission-Chas Raine, suffered a heart attack, which was a bit too reminiscent of when my own Daddy had one on my first day on my mission. Sick. But like my Dad he just stayed in the hospital for like a day and came home with meds and orders to take it easy. Chas can't drive for a month, which sucks for him because he's a milk man (Isn't that so cute! And ensured milk for us missionaries always!). Sounds like he's doing okay though, considering.

And my sister said the sweetest thing! I was complaining about how I'm so miserable in group settings-I'm great until the numbers exceed four or five people, but then I get awkward, and my jokes always go flat. Itrysohard! Anyway, she seemed surprised and said how everyone just RAVED about me and adored me at James and Ally's wedding and how I have a standing invite now to all extended family activities--and these were people that I had never met before that night. I guess it pays to pretend like I had flipped off the bride by scratching my forehead with a certain finger for allegedly staring at me. I guess I can let my hair down a bit as long as my sister is there! Totally made me feel a lot better though. Totally. Even Joanne, who's my age and married and Jared's little sister, called up Stacey and commented on how fun I was or funny or whatever. Awww... Note to self: insults always work. How to win friends but alienate others.

I had the weirdest dream last night, and it's already fading but I'm going to try my best to remember as much of it as I can--it was SOOO vivid at the time!
I dreamed that I was planning a trip to my friend Jessie's (BFF FOREVER since the 7th grade and still in touch) and I was on campus, but there was like NO ONE ELSE THERE, and I realized campus had been taken over by like marshall law or some sort of evil terrorist group or something. Anyway, it was broad daylight and I had to try to hide. I first went to a bathroom, and Poncho was in there scrubbing away at the floor with a mop, but it kept getting muddier and dirtier.
Anyway I end up leaving, looking desperately for somewhere to hide, and I even considered the exact same place where Marmot hid four years ago when we were playing sardines on campus and we tried looking for him for about 45 minutes, and nearly just went home because we thought he had done the same. But it was really obvious in bright day light so I hid like under this ladder type thing, but someone saw me go in there, and followed me--a soldier guy, and he accused me of having a gun or something, and I didn't and demonstrated as much, and he surprisingly just left me alone.

I then found myself in this small but deep auditorium, and Poncho and Tyler (of Tyler Bell) were both there! I was sooo relieved and expressed as much and then they just both looked at each other and laughed at me for being so naive--they were part of the militant group as well! So they were chasing me around the auditorium, trying to capture me, when I found a way out, which led to this big open balcony type thing, where there were loads of other people. I was able to hide among them, and then I slipped away to the sea that just HAPPENED to be there, and me and a small handful of other people, that may or may not have included Janay or Amy, hid in small wooden gaps in a boat thing, and we sailed away. I couldn't get a hold of Jessie on my phone for some reason, and then we landed and went into this small gas station type store, looking around. Finally I met up with Jessie and it was great!

I may find out sooner than expected at whether or not I was accepted into the Illustration program or not. I received an E-mail today saying that those who applied for that program and a handful of others can come pick up our slides. Luckily I had also applied for another program as a back up that wasn't included in that first handful. Blech. It'll probably be another week or two. Can't.. hardly... wait... really. I'm not emotionally prepared to find out this early!

Only through the power of goodness

I've had a very dramatic past couple of weeks--some of the drama happening to me, or those very close to me. Where to start... (Yeah, I have homework to do, but alas... really don't feel like it!)

• I ran out of checks in my checkbook, and couldn't find the fillers ANYWHERE. And I really needed them for bills and tithing and such. And I looked EVERYWHERE. I calmed down and just silently prayed and it just popped in my head--check the jacket closet in the hallway--and I did and it was there!
• There was a power outage. I was having kind of a tough day--not really tough for any reason, but just feeling the weight of the world all the same. I got home, thinking that my roommate had resigned the electricity bill in her name, and found out by pitch blackness of my home (very indicative!) that Alan the TPM manager must not have gotten a hold of her. Good times. I was freaking cold that night, even with five blankets on top of me, and just bawled my eyes out. Haven't felt that much anguish or that out of control in such a long time. Probably not since my mission or freshman year. You can't move but you can't sit still... At least Shawn had brought me over matches so I could read by candle light to settle down and go to sleep. THAT was a rough night.
• The next day my Dad had E-mailed me--apparently he had sent me a package of lotions and stuff from a lady he knew from Port Alberni growing up. He asked me how I was and I had mentioned how things had been a bit rough for the past few days. About an hour later, he calls me up, and then later my SISTER calls me up and also tells me to talk to Mom. I ended up skipping Biology to talk to my sister, and we just talked for over an hour about everything--systematically going through all my problems and issues and worries and anxieties and at the end I felt so light and so much better. We're so similar in a lot of ways, and by the end of it, it was just a relief to know there are people out there with not necessarily the same problems but at least the same attitude as me. So yeah felt so much better about all the facets of my life. Thanks Shtashe!
• When I called my mom next (who also had recently sent me a package of clay and goodies! a week or two before) apparently my brother Gabe and my Dad are going to go on a roadtrip to Mount Rushmore for my Dad's work--weeklong and my brother is planning ALL of it out! I suggested to him (on Sunday) that he should do a detour on the way back through Utah (So Shawn and Rachel can meet my Gabe and my Dad and plus I like them both myself!) but he's like "um... I'll think about it" She was so tickled about it, as was I. I don't think my Dad's patience will last that long, as patient as he really is.
• My dad bought a guitar that's made from the parts of other guitars. He's SOOOOO excited about it. And he doesn't get excited about things. Kind of like Shawn in that regard.
• I've started writing letters again to people on my mission! I got big time chewed out by my last companion I served with for not doing better, so I've made a goal for a letter a day on average, and so far I've been doing really well! I think I'm only a letter behind for the past two weeks.
• I've also started to get up early to read scriptures, having struggled to find time during the day to do it for my New Testament class. It makes such a difference! I'm always on time or early for work now, which hasn't happened for a month or two. And that's not the only difference it makes! :)
• I've cracked down on that dress for Sian's wedding. Still urked that Shawn can't come *fist shakeage!* but on the bright side he won't see me look like a freaking gold tulip. Yeah, satin and gold just ISN'T my fabric or color to wear. I was explaining to my coworker today that I was a hardcore cotton-wearer--I don't like to wear silky or satiny things. Just feels weird. Kind of part of the reason why I LOVE getting my makeup and hair done, but I HATE dressing up in really fancy clothing. Can't I get married in cords and a sweater? Gosh! Maybe the dress will look better once I get the skirt done. I hope...
• I stayed home from work and one of three classes yesterday. And wrote Shawn a song. And watched loads of Jeeves and Wooster. I think we've reached a bit of a cropper here Jeeves! And did loads of laundry (haha mind the pun).
• I met Rachel's folks and brother! Man it made me miss Gabe. SOOO CUTE! And Rex gave me a hug at the end just like Gabe would--they're standing right in front of me and yet they still somehow manage to just do an awkward one handed side hug. I still don't know how they do it. Rachel is so much like her mom it was awesome! I love her mom--she gave me at least two proper mom hugs too which I truly appreciated. Been awhile since I've gotten a real proper tight hug. Also made me miss my mission. I was well-known for the great hugs I gave, if I say so myself :). And it turned out that her mom and my folks served in the same mission--she had me call up my folks right there and then and she talked to them both! How funny is that! Anyway, that's about it. It's a small world after all. Now try to get THAT song out of your head!

Shawniggins

Shawniggins
or: What’s the matter? Aren’t you... hungry?
by Kari A Pedersen

(First verse and chorus:)
Even though I’m crap
At writing a song
Here’s a go
For my boyfriend Shawn

He argues over pizza slices
and dilemmas of the omnivore
But draws a blank at politics
Preferring Harry Potter lore

He’s amazing, cute and lush
his very presence is a rush
I never fail to blush
Holy crap dang I have such a crush!

Repeat chorus

Why am I so awkward?
Although he is quite as well
He’s in a band called Tyler Bell
and the farmer’s in the dell

When will he cut his hair?
Oh wait, he already did
He’s nobody’s little weasel
But he’s great with little kids

He’s ticklish in the armpits
But not anywhere else
He likes to cook a crock pot roast
And in his arms I melt!

Repeat chorus but change
“Here’s a go” to “Here was a go”

Howl of the Unappreciated

It snowed today. Words cannot describe HOW SICK of the snow I am. Can't...handle...it...for...much....longer... And as the icing on the cake, I TOTALLY got sprayed by a passing car. And it got all over my large drawing pad too, so it's a tinsy bit wrinkled. Do you ever have days where you just need a good cry, even though there's really nothing to cry about? Life is good. Doing well in school, got a new calling I'm excited about (although it's getting more and more complicated as the days go on. I won't just be teaching at church, apparently, and the 1st counselor keeps emphasizing how important this is which makes me feel like I'm probably going to blow it and Hilary, a LA is going to go to hell because I didn't do as good of a job as I should've or could've.), got a righteous babe for a boyfriend, he's got awesome roommates, good friends, a great job, I belong to the true church (always helpful), got a great family--everyone's healthy and Jared just came home so Stacey's happy, instant access to chocolate, cute new purse and camera from an obliging thoughtful aunt, a good home with a good roommate... what's to complain about? I forget, but the feeling is still there. Goodness, I hate hormones. But as Nwahs once said, "Hey, if I were bleeding profusely from the crotch, I'd be a bit upset, too!" That made my day. Thanks Shawn. I mean, er, Nwahs.

What are the odds?

On the way to work today, I burst out laughing when I found fifty dollars lying on the side of the road. What are the odds?
There's a girl in the clinical psychology department that I recognized--she used to be roommates with my freshman year roommate-Kaylyn. I didn't bother to mention it to her though until today, and I was right--they were roommates together sophomore year. And then on the way to campus from work today, I thought I recognized this guy getting into a car, and I glance in the car and THERE'S KAYLYN!!! What are the odds? I had only met her husband like once, so the fact that I recognized him--I'm pretty pleased with myself.
My boss bought me Keebler fudge sticks and my coworker a croissant and us both chocolate milk because we had this (literally) headache of a workload to do for a professor. It took a third of the time we thought it would, so I had time to do my New Testament reading! I think I might be able to finish most of my homework today for tomorrow! Yay. Insert cheers here. Today's going to be a good day. And another professor complimented me on my trousers. Awwww... On the downside I started *cough* bleeding profusely today, but fortunately at least thus far my mood swings have been on the upside. Watch out when the pendelum goes the other way.... yikes! On the plus side both Shawn and Rachel gave me a nice back massage yesterday (not at the same time. You calling me fat?), and Rachel's getting better all the time at it! Awww look at you. The sweetness of it all.
Can't wait for my fave comp's wedding in a few weeks. March 10. Had a good half birthday. And even though Rachel thought to get me a present, that in fact, doesn't, make, you, look, bad, Shawn, so, don't, worry. GOSH.
I think that's about it! Can't stop giggling, despite my cramps and homework load. Oh the wonders of hormones.

Gravy boat, darling.

The optimist fell ten stories.
At each window bar
He shouted to his friends:
"All is well so far!"
~Unknown

Yorkshire puddings

2 eggs
2 heaped tablespoons of plain flour
milk

Beat eggs and flour to paste
add little milk until creamy (coats spoon)

Lard a 12 bun or muffin tin
place in oven to get hot
Place mix in tin. Cook at top of oven until golden. About 10/15 minutes on highest heat

Good luck!

That was a recipe from a family in my last area. I lived for Yorkshire puddings. I ate loads nearly everyday and still didn't get sick of them. Especially soaked in gravy. Mmmmm.... I might be forced to make some when I actually get the opportunity to, you know, buy some milk. Sigh.

Gravy was my saving grace on my mission. It facilitated the consumption of many alien or questionable repasts.

I've been having a lot of weird dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was really tiny, and had to travel with my parents, who weren't really my parents in real life, and they weren't king and queen but they were something akin to that. There was this enemy trying to get us. At one point we were running for refuge, and this cute little monster thing was able to produce loads of fluffy feathery type stuff and rolled us up in that so we were able to make it without being spotted. Dang it, the dream is quickly fading as I try to recall its events. The night before I dreamed my boyfriend and I were companions on the mission. We were determined to knock until 12, but around 11:41 I was growing tired and irritable and wanted to stop for lunch, and he's like "no this is what we agreed to do." Yeah, I'm kind of thinking he was the more steadfast missionary of the two of us. Itriedsohard.

Kay, that's about it.

How have I treated you differently today than from any other day?

Stole this from Steve on facebook.

Terror in Europe:
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security levels from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon,though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even"A bit cross". Londoners have not been "A bit cross" since the blitz in1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the English and the French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective combat operations" and"Change sides".The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful arrogance"to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbor" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand,are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

It's the white one.

Well it was quite the dramatic day yesterday. I had a midterm to take for stats. Lost count of how many hours I had spent studying for it, but was tokenly rewarded with an 89%, not counting the essay portion, which I think I did okay on. Whew. That's a load off. On the other hand, it never occurred to me that developing slides might take longer than a day. I went up to the photo people in the BYU bookstore and they said they send it out so it could take anywhere from 4 to 7 days! Will my dreams of making it into the illustration program be shattered? Oh, will we ever know? Stay tuned! If it isn't developed in time, at the very least this'll give me an opportunity to do better and more artwork and improve my grades this semester and over the summer, both of which will increase my chances of being accepted next year. I just wish admissions were twice a year. Ggggrrrrrrr.......... I wouldn't be me if I didn't procrastinate my life and therefore screw it up. Either way I have a super busy weekend ahead of me. I'm going to trysohard! Blech. I thought I lost my blue scarf yesterday, but it turned out I left it at work! Yay.


So, here's the dramatic part: A guy from my stake back at home is a graduate student in the clinical psychology department, so I see him around here a lot. Yesterday, when I got einstein bagels for case conference, I was downstairs spreading them out on the table for the students, and he happened to be there. I said hi, and he returned the greeting and asked if I knew a Brother Reagan, and one of his daughters was Cheryl. I said I did, that I was (and am!) best friends with his daughter Lyndy. He said that Brother Reagan died over a week ago, from heart problems or something. I was so stunned that I just went about putting stuff out like nothing had happened. It didn't really hit until I left the room and was halfway up the stairs and that's when I could feel the tears coming. Let me give you some more background. Our families moved into the Bothell 3rd ward around the same time--Lyndy and I have been friends since we were two. My mom has known her mom since college, and our dads are home teaching companions. I head straight for my phone, go to the bathroom, and barely holding it together I call my mom. Fortunately she answers, super-excited to hear from me (how could you not be?), and I asked her. At first she was just really confused and couldn't understand me, and I'm like "PHIL PHIL REAGAN. LYNDY'S DAD. DID HE DIE LAST WEEK?!?!" And she's like "um... Dad just talked to him on Sunday, so unless it's been in the last day or two, he's fine!" I was so relieved that that's when I completely lost it (thank goodness I was in the bathroom!) and I'm like "um... mom, next time he dies will you actually let me know?" and she said yeah, and then I said I had to get off the phone to compose myself. Holy heck. And then fortunately Lyndy was online, so I asked her the most awkward question since I don't know what, and she's like "um... not that I know of!" Apparently Brother Egan died. He's from the stake back at home, too, and has a son here at BYU around my age. I feel really badly for him, but am admittedly relieved that it wasn't Lyndy's dad. Didn't get a chance to set Spencer straight though, because I didn't see him after the Conference. Good times. My makeup all melted off by 11 o'clock. Good times. Usually the majority of it is gone by the late afternoon. At least with that I got an early start! No procrastinating for me. (in the first picture, Lyndy is on the right)



Sian, my perfect former companion getting married, sent me the information about the bridesmaid dresses. The pattern she picked out is actually pretty cute! I just can't find the particular yellow fabric she wanted online, but we'll see what I can get at JoAnn's or Hancocks. I like the dress on the right. But could you really picture me in that, and it being yellow? We'll see. At least she's thoughtful in the design department.

I think that's about it! Sorry if I was super cranky and stressed out last night, Rachel. Sometimes things get to me. Even with a great McDonalds meal.

No ifs, ands or butts

So I sometimes get into these ridiculously inappropriate moods where my only desire in life is to make people irritated and uncomfortable and confused. Doesn't happen very often, but when it does, just humor me and let me get it out of my system, and then I'm fine for another few months. We had a canadian family reunion over break, and just to be *cough* cheeky, I suddenly had the great urge to photograph my immediate familys'... butts. I KNOW! I'M WEIRD! I'M SORRY! Anyway, ten points for anyone who could guess which butts were which. As a clue, my twin brother and older brother's butts are not pictured. I'm not THAT weird. *blush*

A favorite elder from my mission may be visiting this weekend! He's from Denmark. Just found out today. I guess you could say he was my best friend on the mish--of the elders anyway, even though a few others came pretty close. He was my zone leader for two areas in a row--we transferred together!--so we served really close together for 7.5 months. And went through a lot. *Shudder* don't care to think about some of the crap that I had to deal with at the time, but he was a good friend, listener, and example. And he could juggle and iceskate like no other, which is a must have for any zone leader, I think. Good times. Anyway, if he does come, it'll be for ten days. And with his ex-girlfriend. Giving it another go, sounds like. It's been nearly a year since I last saw him! Weeeeeird. Feels like yesterday. I wish them all the happiness! :)

Rachel said the sweetest thing to me yesterday! Nearly lost it. We were sitting in Stake Conference, and the speaker was talking about being sensitive to other people and their needs and just who they are or something like that, and suddenly, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like a flash, a vision, out of the blue, she turns to me and says something like, "that's exactly what you are, Kari!" I was completely taken aback. I think I'm pretty self-centered and clueless, but whatever helps you sleep at night, Rachel! You just make it easy to be thoughtful. But thanks. I appreciate it.

My sister is quite possibly the funniest person I know. I talked to her on the phone yesterday for a bit about things, and fortunately her husband Jared is coming home in a couple of weeks (I don't know how she manages with him gone for so long! I get irritable and antsy if I haven't seen Shawn for more than a day or two), anyway, she was complaining that one of the worst things about him being gone is that her dog is always staring at her! She said that she even took Maggie for a really long run, but that didn't stop her! Even while we were on the phone, Stacey, full of disgust, just reprimanded her by saying, "MAGGIE! NO LOOKING!!!!! GOSH!" I literally doubled over and slapped the floor I was laughing so hard. I love her because she has no qualms about stating how much she hates people, and doesn't like being around them, even when she's in a good mood! If that's not perfection, I don't know what is. Anyway, I love that dog. She's so high maintenance, but in a really cute way.

Um, yeah--I'm TOTALLY the favourite!!!

Is it REALLY weird that I'm super excited to get new batteries for my ancient TI-82? I didn't realize all it needed was four triple A batteries, and now I can't wait! I haven't used that baby since high school! And even then it was considered obsolete by my fellow TI-83+ students. The real snobs used the TI-85's. Who did they think they were? Ridiculous. The rest of us laughed at them behind their intellectually foward but socially backwards' backs.

So, through a short series of e-mails, my Dad informed me that he was going to send me some money, but that it 'wouldn't be much.' And it would just be between him and me--a gift for his starving student of a daughter. I was EXPECTING about twenty bucks, and deep down secretly crossing my fingers for $50-100 dollars. Do you like how I used both the word and sign for dollar? Me, too. I got home late last night, and found that the little Fedex envelope was still at the doorstep. Thank goodness no one took it! I had assumed Jessica would've found it and stuck it on the table. Anyway, I open it... and it was A MONTH'S WORTH OF RENT!!! 300 dollars! I couldn't believe it! I had been freaking out lately over how I was going to pay for tithing and rent (well not TITHING :) )and milk and bills and everything, and my Daddy was an inadvertent answer to a concerned frazzled oft-repeated prayer. I nearly started crying! Thanks Daddy! I love you, and not just because even though I haven't lived at home for nearly five years you still see fit to try to help financially support me! It'll save me twenty bucks on a late fee for rent, too! :)
There was something else I wanted to write about... I hate Biology, but that wasn't it. I hate things I don't understand. So I like very nearly everything! Just kidding. Science makes a whooshing sound as it goes over my head.

WHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHH!!!!!!!

I just remembered what it was--my favourite companion Sian Watts is getting married HERE (well in LOGAN) in MARCH instead of MAY IN ENGLAND. WHICH MEANS I GET TO GO!!! WHICH MEANS THAT SHE ALSO REQUESTED I BE HER.... bridesmaid. In pale yellow. I own one pale yellow (one YELLOW) ANYTHING, and I don't think it'll be temple appropriate. It's a small Beatles Magical Mystery Tour T-shirt I got at Walmart over the summer. Yeeeesh. She's sending me a swatch and sounds like she or I will be making my own dress for it. Good times. I haven't sewn since the summer (on my machine anyway) minus my purse I made, so that'll be really fun--I'm looking forward to that. And I can't believe she's getting married! I'm so excited, I just ADORE this girl. She totally deserves all the happiness life and Trevor can give her; and he had BETTER worship her. Or there will be words from an angry former junior companion (which are the worst words to be had). (pictured: how I'd LIKE to look. How I WILL look. O the poofiness of it all.)

As something negative, I screwed up my arm yesterday, lifting my super-ridiculously-heavy backpack. So now my elbow really hurts. Why WHY?!?! I try popping it, which feels good for about five seconds, then grows steadily worse again. Good times.

As something positive, I received a letter as well yesterday from my friend Jessie that I've known since forever. Well, we became friends in junior high. We're both Beatles fanatics, so we sign our letters to each other PS I LOVE YOU after our signature. Cool, huh. Anyway, it was so cute, she mentioned (I took fifth and sixth grade from her mom) how I'm the only student EVER that she would allow to do whatever I wanted while she taught--which was usually knitting, because she'd ask me what she had just taught and I could repeat it back to her. Te, hee. Those were the days.

As something again positive, yesterday Rachel gave me half of her butterfinger, and I just stuck it in my pocket for later. And forgot about it. And after my stats class (which ended twenty minutes early! A YEAH F!) I found it and it made me happy because I was craving chocolate like CRAZY! If I'm not blessed and spoiled I don't know who is. Thanks Rachel!

Guard your carnal treasure!

My sister and me, and then my Daddy and Mommy (that's probably the first time I've ever seen them engage in any real affection... te, hee) and then Ally me and Stacey--Ally is the one Stacey's husband's little brother married. His name is James. The one of Jared and my Dad--the three of us went for a walk/hike thing. Beautiful view (notice the photo of me about to push Jared off the cliff. I guess the vista inspired me.).


How is there any question? I definitely have the cutest bestest family ever in the history of humans.

Although this one makes it arguable. And he's MY twin? What?! REALLY!?!? Him?!
I have a lovely sister. She just sent me a couple of CD's of family get-togethers and such, and $20, to pay me back for a three dollar thing of india ink I had bought for my class that she decided she just HAD TO HAVE. I was joking when I told her she had to pay me back, but now I'm glad I said it! :) These are pictures from our Canadian family reunion and then a rock climbing stint in Colorado. Mmm.... I love and hate rock climbing. It's so addicting, and yet I'm cussing under my breath and calling Jared a bastard every other second. Good times. I love this picture I took of my dad... I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!!!!!!!!

Happy two months (fer reals this time) Shawn!

I'm really ashamed. I'm wearing all brown today, and I thought my pant legs were wide enough, but they weren't, so when I walk you can see my bright pink Santa Claus socks from miles away. I would've liked that in high school, but not so much now.

itrysohard

Short People got no reason to liiiiiiiiiive

You know you've hit rock bottom when after a 2 AM session of puking your guts out, passing out on the heater in the front room until morning (what MUST my roommate think of me?!), finishing a REALLY funny book (one of the highlights of the day) watching dumb movies like MI-III, thankfully having two discerning friends come over to keep you company for a few hours, you hear the Randy Newman song "Short People" on the radio at 10 PM and COMPLETELY LOSE IT because it makes you miss your Dad like NO OTHER because whenever you'd get sick he'd make you the best tomato lipton soup (you just take normal lipton noodle soup and add half a can of tomato juice to it), and the most amazing grilled cheese sandwiches to help you feel better.

So guess who hit rock bottom.


I suppose that's what sucks about having the best dad ever in the history of humans. And Dads. Mortal ones, anyway. My Dad introduced me to Randy Newman at a very young age, and I've loved Randy ever since, and no matter what the song, whenever I hear a Randy Newman song I instantly think of him. My Dad, that is.


Anyway, on the bright side this morning I started my period. So although I may have cramps, I can now blame the mood swings on an external locus of control. Good times.

As a side note, I strongly encourage anyone looking to live dangerously (as I actually said I would when I picked these up) to not do so to the extent of buying the guacamole flavoured Pringles, at least from Smiths. BAD IDEA. BOOOO!!! They don't taste nearly as good coming up as they do going down, even though there isn't that much of a difference. And O the way it burns your throat. Mmmmm.....



The funny book I was referring to is "One for The Money" by Janet Evanovich. I think I found a new favorite series to read. A yeah F.

I also started "Angela's Ashes," and after the first 20 pages, I can already tell I'm really going to enjoy it. Especially after the dedication page practically mirrored the stamp I bought at JoAnns a few weeks ago that said "I love you, admire you and respect you." A stamp that horrifying is just asking to be purchased and used for facetiously evil means. ASKING FOR IT. Didn't expect practically the same message to be used for sincere means in a pulitzer-prize winning memoir.

This is cruel irony. I went food shopping (Janay took me and I didn't find out until we were already there that she didn't even need to, and just went because she knew I needed to! If that's not a true BFF Forever, then I don't know what is) a couple of days ago, and only bought chocolate pudding and Reeses Peanut Butter puffs. Both of which the chocolate content is negligible. O cruel cruel fate. And O the poofiness of it all (it's ALL FOR YOU, Rachel!). I did cut my bangs yesterday, in a fit of frustrative rage. Yes, that is a word. I promise. At least Rachel and Heather bought me some Reeses Peanut Butter cups. King size. mmmm.... Uh oh... cramps are making comeback. I'd better finish before I write something REALLY embarrassing and personal.

All I have to do is Dream.

I think people get appetizers from a carnal greed that rests in the subconscious of all humans.

I'm confused, too. I probably shouldn't have copied it, but it was from an independent study I had to grade for my psychology teacher of a boss. Some dude wrote that as to why people get appetizers while they wait for their main meal.

I know.

I'm supposed to be working on a biology paper right now. Sick sick sick.

Okay so super weird super vivid dream I had last night. I was in this huge high school, like in the middle of the night--it was pretty dark inside, with mostly a few lights and lamps from outside keeping it lit. All of a sudden, one of these freaky monsters (that look like the ones that attack Hellboy near the beginning of the movie in the subways) starts attacking this woman, who must've been around 60. I think she was one of the janitors or something. She struggles with it, and staggers towards the steps, and if I recall correctly, just falls--not down the stairs, but between them (kind of like those circular stairs you see in hotels and stuff).
Anyway, so I'm freaking out. Apparently there was some sort of plague of them suddenly, and the area, and possibly world had to get prepared to fend them off. I run home, and about six other people--Shawn, Rachel, Amy, this 50-something yr old investigator guy of the Elders from the Newcastle ward named Albert, and possibly Heather and/or Janay. The others are a bit fuzzy. Anyway we're at home now--the group of us with just my mom, and we're trying to board up the house so these freaky creatures can't get in. All of a sudden outside we just see this HUGE parade of kids--like between the ages of 3-10, marching, with picket signs, and dressed up in Halloween costumes (what can this all MEAN?!). Their message was basically that we were all overreacting and that there WAS no threat. We went to Walmart, considering hiding out in there among the stalls, but the monsters were there, too, and it seemed a bit too exposed and easy. We went back home (actually I think the Walmart incident was before the protest march) and even though we thought we had locked everything up, we turned and there were all these little kids--the same ones! They were mad at us, and we realized that they were crawling down through the chimney. We had to scoot them outside, and close the fireplace door thing so they couldn't get in any more. And then we had to figure out where the safest place was to hide. In reality, we do have a sort of dirt room in my old house--just an unfinished room at the bottom of the house that has a dirt floor, hence the name. We went down there, which was a lot bigger then it is in real life. And there was this sort of makeshirt house/trailer looking thing. We go inside it to hide, and there's this huge cow inside. (WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?!?!) And all this crap and weird white thick foamy liquid on the ground. We clean it and push it all outside and sit there inside arguing and talking about whether or not we really were in danger. Oooh I think Annalisa might have been there too. Hmm.... anyway, I think I go back upstairs to talk to my mom for a minute, and I come back down and they had put down the frame, and folded it up, and now were inside this tent-like thing. They said it was more comfortable that way and they were still safe. I think we just stayed there for a long time and then woke up.

ANOTHER DREAM I had, which was from last night, told in prose:

Kari says:
I had the WORST dream last night. IT was so bad that I woke up from it, which I NEVER do [at 3:30ish]
Janay says:
what was it??
Kari says:
I dreamed that we had this small family reunion, but there were members from both sides of the family (which doesn't happen)
Kari says:
And I brought Shawn
Kari says:
and for some reason we brought Nicole as well
Janay says:
haha
Kari says:
and people kept going up to me and telling me how BEAUTIFUL she was [gee thanks]
Kari says:
and we all ate dinner together
Kari says:
and afterwards she got up, said she was feeling sick, and went to the bathroom and just started throwing up
Kari says:
Shawn explained by saying that she hadn't had a full meal in months, so her stomach wasn't used to it
Kari says:
she was resting for awhile, and Shawn was watching TV, so I went over and sat on his lap.
Kari says:
Then Nicole came out, and I saw her and started to get up so as to avoid an awkward scene, but Shawn threw me off even faster, so it seemed like he was trying to hide the fact that we had a relationship
Janay says:
Kari!
Janay says:
That's so sad!
Kari says:
it gets worse
Kari says:
anyway a little bit later
Kari says:
I was sitting down watching TV
Kari says:
and then he like totally starts wrestling with her! I think to cheer her up for feeling so sick. And he picks her up and throws her on the couch
Kari says:
and joins her on it and just goofs around with her --TOTALLY flirting and laughing and all over each other
Kari says:
and I'm sitting RIGHT THERE
Kari says:
so I get so frustrated that I get up, place the channel changer where their heads are on the couch, and go downstairs and curl up on the couch and I totally just LOSE IT
Kari says:
and I'm bawling, and then I hear something behind me
Kari says:
and it's some lady that's family but I have no idea who she is and I just say "OH CRAP" and she's like "um... is everything okay?" and I said "oh I'm fine, just PMSing" and she's like "Yeah I know how that goes." and she leaves me alone. And then I wake up.
Janay says:
sick!
Kari says:
it hurt sooooooooooooooooooo much!
Janay says:
well I hope you're going to be mad at Shawn all day for what he did during your dream!
Kari says:
I'm certainly feeling a bit distant!

The only thing I remember from the dream I had after that one was it looked like I had some sort of huge sliver in the side of my right thumb. I cut off the top layer of skin (not to bleed, just a surface cut), and started to pull it out. about an inch of this blackish plastic stick came out. I thought that was it but then I looked closer and realized there was more there. I kind of run my finger up against my thumb to try to squeeze it out and finally there was enough that I could get a grip on it, and I pulled it out and it was a navy blue crayola crayon, without the wrapper! WHAT CAN THIS POSSIBLY MEAN?!?!

I really hope I start surfing the crimson wave soon, or I'm going to have to face the possibility that I'm manic depressive.

*sneeze*cough*hack*sniffle*

So I was in bed asleep by like 9:30 last night. My body, to express its eternal gratitude and appreciation subsequently thanked me in the morning by greeting me with a sore throat. And now three hours later, my nose is ever so slightly starting to run. Ihatemylife.
Beyond that life is good. Since Josh and I aren't really talking any more, I still have his sore throat spray that I borrowed like two months ago from the LAST time I was sick, so I was able to use that this morning. So I guess the moral of the story is sometimes undependable self-centered thoughtless friends DO come in handy.

I keep having weird dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was in the forest, and there were all these little tiny creatures (SOOO cute!) where their body was a leaf, and their head was a raindrop, with little features on it and everything, but then one rainy night their biggest foe appeared. It was SO freaky! In this meadow the ground started to swirl as if it were made of water--proper building up of waves of grass and dirt and everything--very cool but freaky. The thing itself was like a giant version of them, and it would attack by picking up the little guys and extracting the water from their heads, so all that was left was their leaf body. It was so sad, because the main little guy that was showing us around and helping us was one of the first to be, I don't know, eaten? Stupid me set my alarm earlier this morning than I really needed to, so I woke up before the whole thing was resolved. I remember at one point during the dream I was hiding under a piano bench.

New Year Resolutions are going surprisingly well so far! Hopefully this illness doesn't completely suck all my will to live, which being sick usually does. Sigh.

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.

Oh my goodness I'm so pleased with myself! And not just because I got new mascara so now my eyelashes are discernible again. I had no idea they were there! It's funny how dramatic the difference is when you get new mascara. I hadn't realized how dried out my old stuff was. I was taking a bunch of pictures of myself with my folk's digital camera, and I took the only remotely passable photo and cropped it to the only passable portion, hence the photo. My heart. Anyway, I'm so pleased with myself! I was so shoot... what's the word? It's been so long absent from my vocabulary I've completely forgotten it.... I was PRODUCTIVE! That's it! I woke up at like 8:30 to find a missed phone call from my coworker. Apparently we were due back to work on WEDNESDAY. Pshyeah right. She wasn't feeling well and I hadn't gotten any normal sleep for the past three or four days (Sleepness nights and six hour naps during the day...), plus with having a strict diet of angel hair pasta or rice (and contrary to popular belief, olive oil is NOT a suitable substitute for butter *shudder*) due to a near empty fridge and cabinet, my eating habits were even worse than normal. So I gracefully declined from going to work yesterday, but came today. Anyway, I resigned to my post on the couch to watch movies. Everything was okay at first--stuck in Mona Lisa Smile--huge Maggie Gyllenhaul fan, even if she does play a slut with a heart in that movie, and any movie with Topher Grace is okay by me, and the guy that fell for the cello player--oh didn't he just break your heart when he looked at her with so much hurt in his eyes?! Man alive! Anyway sorry I digress. The problem started when I got the utility bill. I won't say how much it was, but our average summer utility bill was at least a fifth of it. Isn't that SICK! Then I stuck in The Prince and Me (desperate! The only redeemable part in that movie was the makeout scene in the library--if that's not a steamy place to make out then I don't know what is) and got so upset by the end of it that I didn't even finish it (and I ALWAYS finish movies unless sleep prevents it so), I just got up, freaked out and started cleaning. I tidied the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes, the dining room, stuck all the Christmas trash in the garage (our trash is overflowing so it's going to take a couple of weeks to dwindle), cleaned the front room, did my laundry, cleaned my room (which took like four hours because I organised quite a bit as well), crocheted quite a bit, even painted my toenails and shaved my legs (unheard of in Kariland--especially the toenails part), and sewed on fourteen buttons on my jacket that mysteriously had 9 of its 14 buttons break in the course of two weeks. I read my scriptures, beat Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, I threw away SOOO much stuff, too, which for me is always a breath of fresh air. I hate hoarding stuff. Part of that being a sideproduct of my mission where we would visit clinical certifiable packrats where they just had piles and piles of just CRAP EVERYWHERE, and would refuse to throw ANY of it away, no matter how gross or useless or dumb it was, and it really freaked me out. And I hate clutter anyway, so WHEW. I watched the Phantom of the Opera last night while I was sewing on those buttons, too. So... is it just me or is the Phantom like LOADS hotter than Raoue7QL? Especially the kiss between Christine and the Phantom. Perhaps I just like a little danger. I just felt the urge to braid Raoul's hair and put ribbons in it. We won't go into the urge I felt for the Phantom. Even with that disfiguring scar (and perhaps growing up in a church where we believe in the resurrection, so I always have that in mind...) he was still loads dreamier than his competition. *Holy crapping hot dang*--especially after finding out that he was the same actor from Dear Frankie. In closing, I salute the Honeymooners. Alice, you're the greatest.