Why can't life be replete WITHOUT ironies?

So my visiting teachers called. I'm going to see them at 5:30 today. If that wasn't bad enough--guess who called? Yeah. My old roommate from sophomore year I didn't get along with too much. She's my visiting teacher. And my home is a little messy (mostly the kitchen), and she was a neat freak, so I'm feeling a bit insecure about that. And I only get a half an hour to tackle my home before she comes over because I agreed to work an extra two hours today since my other coworker isn't able to make it for some reason. Maybe if I start puking I can get out of this... Hmmm.... I wonder...

I finished my portfolio!

My portfolio is done! And so are my anxiety attacks for now (too much information?)... Never mind. You don't KNOW ME! Anyway, it was nice to have a three day weekend right after, replete with reruns of 30 Rock, an art and craft night, a heated game of Phase 10 where in spite of everyone's best efforts, I still won (who's in graduate school nowwwww?), and a wasted day. No one ever told me Candide was REALLY good. Although I'm only about 20 pages into it. We have to read it for Humanities. Oh crap. I have an exam for Humanities this week. BLECH. I'm so sick of school. I went to church yesterday! My new ward! That was... fun... why is it so hard for me to introduce myself and talk to other people? I'm a returned missionary, I should know how to do this, and I should know how IMPORTANT it is to do this. Which I do, which is why I think it makes it THAT MUCH harder for me to actually do it. I'm a BAD person! Does that make sense? The first posting on postsecret.com is Haras's!!! She's a celebrity now! She sent it in months ago, so it's a nice surprise to see it on there now! Yay fun cool! Shawn once did the math and said that the dude is only able to post like 2% of the secrets he gets. Doesn't that make you feel special, Haras? Because it SHOULD!! Anyway, here is a highlight from my portfolio:Just kidding. Shawn drew that. If you really want to see my insecurities, I posted them on facebook.

I also highly recommend any Agatha Christie games on yahoo games. you can download them for about 60 minutes of free play! So I've gone through a lot of those games and games like unto them. So addicting! But now my eyes look for weird clues everywhere and I keep thinking I'm finding ones! What was great was Agatha Christie's Peril at End House--for some reason it let me play the entire game!!!! Yay fun cool! That's all for now! Stay tuned til next time when we figure out who left the toilet seat up last night! (Actually I've never once had a problem with that, it's just the only thing I could think up on the spot. Sorry. Itrysohard.)

what a weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHAWN BOUGHT ME A LAPTOP! AND SO I BOUGHT HIM XBOX GUNS SO WE CAN PLAY DUCK HUNT!!!!!!!! NOW WE'RE EVEN!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!! And I'm almost done with my stupid portfolio! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life is good! I even did my hair today! How's THAT for applying yourself! Even though that meant I didn't eat breakfast today and now I'm really hungry. Sigh.

I know the feeling!

Ape and art drawn together at Woodland Park Zoo

By Susan Gilmore

Seattle Times staff reporter

Towan the orangutan held the blue-colored chalk in his mouth to draw, giving his lips and face a bluish tinge Wednesday.

Where to bid To view and bid on Towan's art, visit eBay.com and search for "Woodland Park Zoo."

Orangutans at the Woodland Park Zoo are going ape over art.

Zoo officials hope that two paintings by resident orangutan Towan will fetch a fine price on eBay.

Towan, who will celebrate his 40th birthday later this month and is one of five orangutans at the zoo, is an accomplished artist, say zookeepers, who encourage the creatures to express themselves on canvas.

Already, bidding on the two Towan paintings has eclipsed $800. The works will remain for sale
on the site until early afternoon on Friday.

MIKE SIEGEL / THE SEATTLE TIMES

A close up of one of Towan's paintings that is being auctioned on eBay.

"All the orangs like to paint," said orangutan keeper Felicity Oram. "It's an enrichment activity.
They are very visual creatures and are higher apes and like to express themselves."

She said each ape has his own style and that painting is one of Towan's favorite activities. He uses a paint-filled pen, unlike other orangutans, who paint with their tongues, Oram said. That's why the zoo uses only nontoxic paint.

She said Towan "definitely takes time composing."

The only problem, Oram said, is getting the paintings when the apes are finished with them.

Towan, however, slides his under the doorway when he's done, unlike some of the other orangutans who tend to tear up their work.

Carolyn Austin, another orangutan zookeeper, said Towan will work for two hours on one piece; she offers him colored chalk and paint-filled pens and he'll choose the colors he wants. Towan likes primary colors, Austin said.

Towan and his twin sister, Chinta, were born at the zoo with much notoriety as the first twin orangutans born in captivity.

Austin said the apes are so intelligent they can understand certain words and gestures of the zookeepers. If she says the word "trade," Towan knows to trade his finished canvas for a blank one.

By far, she said, Towan is the most-accomplished artist in the zoo's orangutan family. But he doesn't seem to mind parting with his paintings. "It's like 'I did it and it's done,' " said Austin, adding that the paintings have previously been sold at local events. One of them fetched $1,000 at a zoo auction.

Towan's paintings are on 12-by-16-inch canvases, matted and framed, with a certificate of authenticity.

The money raised will go to support the International Conference of Zookeepers, which will be held at the Woodland Park Zoo in September 2009. It will be the first time the conference has been held in the U.S., said Austin, the organizer.

This is the second time the zoo has sold animal art on eBay. When the Seattle Seahawks were in the Super Bowl two years ago, elephants at the zoo created paintings in Seahawk colors that fetched nearly $1,300 in the online auction.

*I don't know if it's cuter that Towan slides his paintings under the door when he's done, or that I can totally identify with those orangs that tear up their work when they've completed their painting. Either way, I thought this was a great article from the Seattle Times.

We're getting a new sink! And a working faucet! No more drenching myself through the overpowerful stream of the side sprayer. Yay! This also means we can use our dishwasher again. So no more washing dishes or doing all the cleaning except the dishes in hopes that Shawn will feel the need to contribute his part by doing them. Don't tell him I said that. Dishes were my job growing up (both at a couple of my real jobs, and it was also my family chore), so yeah. I'm a little dished out at the moment.
My illustration application is a due a week from Thursday. Good times. Wish me luck!

why does it have to hurt?

The Desperate Measures Band


Two of their alternate names they were considering were "The Fat Middle-aged Balding Guys" and "Midlife Crisis."

Isn't that so cute? These are just two of the band mates. My dad, on the right, ALWAYS makes that face when he's playing guitar. He's fantastic!!!

Just *hic* kill me alrea-*hic*-dy

So YESTERDAY I got the hiccups for the last hour of work. During D&C they disappeared. My next class was Humanities, where they magically reappeared again. Then they vanished during my last class, Home and Family Life. Then they appeared again on the way home! FOR A WHOLE HOUR! Then they went away again for about an hour. THEN THEY CAME BACK! Jessica came over for a little while and the three of us (by three I mean including Shawn, not my hiccups), ate dinner. So yeah. I nearly threw up a few times the hiccups made me feel so nauseous. But mostly I just wanted to die. After Jessica left, I read for a little while and then went to sleep. Shawn woke me up a little while later and led me by the hand to bed (gosh whenever I try to do that to him he loses it!) so I could get some proper sleep. This was maybe around sevenish. I didn't get up until seven the next morning. I did wake up a few times but I was always able to go back to sleep. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! The day before that I took TWO NAPS during the day, and still went to sleep fine that night. Mind you that day I was slightly medicated, but STILL.
So it's Kari's dream corner again. WEEEEEEEEEEEIRD. Last night I dreamed first of all that we were in this huge cultural hall type thing having a mission reunion and Shawn was with me. I think we were in England. And I'll tell you why! We said something under our breaths cheekily about the Queen, and next thing you know the two of us were seized and whisked off to prison, being told that because of our crimes (of being traitors?), we were sentenced to death, the sentence being executed in just a few hours. HOLY CRAP! We were panicking like crazy, and angry as H word--we didn't know--why should we be held accountable for something we were ignorant to?! And plus what a LAME reason to be put to death! (It reminds me of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where they visit a planet where there seems to be perfect peace and harmony, only to find out that the penalty for ANY breaking of rules is DEATH. INCLUDING WALKING ON THE GRASS. I mean... NO, it doesn't remind me of SUCH a LAME show. Oh, who am I kidding?!) So anyway, like ten minutes before we were going to die, we find out that we've been pardoned, and that they whole thing is kind of a demonstration/tradition anyway. No one has ever been put to death for making fun of the queen--just loads of people ALMOST have been. So there's that.
Suddenly a group of us are in this kinda Zelda game where we have to keep sailing to different locations ridiculously close to each other, but there's this bad guy that we both have to fight and also evade (some famous guy that I guess is supposed to represent Ganondorf? He looked like Doogie Howser, but it wasn't him). Which was freaky as crap. And each island was kinda like a stage (not a level--like a movie stage) slash house with all these different rooms. Then I woke up. Isn't that weird? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?

Gosh you're such a BABY!

So it's noises upstairs that work as a great incentive for birth control.
But it's pictures like this one that make me can't wait:
















That's right. That's my little nephew Cohen. Could you GET any cuter? I get to see him in April!!

(He's my brother)

Gosh I had the weirdest dream last night that made me wake up at seventeen minutes before I was expected at work. I was only five minutes late! The main part of the dream I remember was that a bunch of us had returned to our elementary school (even though it really wasn't Crystal Springs. But it was. If that makes sense :) ) Anyway, the Longhurst clan was there, as well Wills and some other kids I attended some sort of public school with. All of a sudden I was backstage, being told it was MY turn to go on, and there's Gabe (and there was a third person on stage with us, but I can't remember who) next to me waiting to go on with me. So we march to the stage, and as the curtains open to reveal us, "He Ain't Heavy (He's my Brother)" by the Hollies come on. Yeah. I'm a little confused. So we kinda dance slowly (not really together) around the stage, and I keep waiting for the "he ain't heavy--he's my brother" part to come on the song so I can try to pick Gabe up to prove the point of the song, but either I miss it or it never does, so I never get a chance. Then that ends and the song after that was "You Can't Hurry Love" but we were all wearing kimonos and were expected to do some sort of Mulan-inspired performance, which I hadn't practiced for AT ALL. And I kept wearing glasses or sunglasses--even though I'd throw them off, or struggle to take them off, they kept appearing back on. GRR!!! Anyway, that went terribly as did the first, but people seemed to like it anyway.

I feel kind of nauseous this morning. Good times.

No, I'm not pregnant. So don't ask.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!

Life is good! I just wish it were less noisy at home! This noise originates from upstairs--as in the neighbors. Not us. Which makes it a lot less fun and inviting. Sigh. But at least it's done after 7:30 every night. Until then though it sounds like a continual marching band upstairs. Are you sure these are only two kids ages 2 and 4? Shawn's been so sweet! I woke up yesterday (or the day before?) to find out that he had done a load of laundry, the dishes and the trash, and then yesterday I came home from class to find out that he had swept the kitchen, vacuumed, and made the bed! How's that for a babe?

Gosh, sleeping has been a nightmare this past week (ba-dum ching!)! Even when I'm exhausted, I'll get a crap song stuck in my head which prevents my ability to sleep for up to hours on end. Last night when I was finally able to get to sleep I had the craziest dream. We were over at presumably my in-laws' house, but it wasn't their house really. If that makes sense. Anyway, there were both a vampire AND a werewolf outside, trying to get in. As any self-respecting person who has caught at least one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer knows, a vampire can't enter a person's home unless invited--even under false pretenses. So I was TERRIFIED that someone would ignorantly let the vampire come inside and suck us all dry. The werewolf was a bit more tricky. I think myself and someone else actually went outside (AT NIGHT!!!!) to try to destroy it, but it kept coming back. YEEEESH! The next thing I know, it's Sunday and we're all at Fast and Testimony Meeting. Brady and Annalisa (My brother in law and his wife) both get up and bear their testimony (not at the same time), which was slightly painful since Annalisa kept trying to make herself cry and Brady ultimately went up TWICE. One guy whom I didn't recognize went up NEARLY to the front--he went down on his knees in the aisleway and started singing Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten." With A LOT of pizzazz. Um, what? So yeah, Shawn and I were exchanging major glances throughout the whole thing. And guess what song I had stuck in my head when I woke up this morning?

My 101th Post!!!!

Here's to my hundred and first post! A stunning representation of how much free time I have at work, and how much of it I choose to indulge in personal activities. Sigh. I've worked here for nearly a year and a half now, so it's not THAT bad, right? So, I had a pretty good winter break!
I...

• got married
• became Kari Wiggins
• had a great honeymoon but still exhausted from it
• don't have roommates any more! Just a cute husband. SO much better!!!
• we have our own cute little place!!! REALLY close to campus and work.
• we got a car!!! YAY!!!! TRANSPORTATION! OTHER THAN JANAY'S AND RACHEL'S!!! (bless your hearts, I don't know how you put up with us!!!)
• got loads of great wedding gifts. we have a deep fat fryer! and a kitchenaid!! and a toaster! yay!!!

Kay that's it for now. Life is good. Being married is good! Love you Shawn!

Three and a half more days! One more final! Have to move out! Then getting married!!! Gersh. I just want to skip the next three days and skip to Saturday. IS THAT SO WRONG?! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!?!!??!!? To help you decide, please watch the following:


Well, I thought it was funny.

Oh yeah. Still don't have the car yet. Feel free to pray or at least cross your fingers!!!

Five days...

Gosh, I can't believe I'm getting married in less than a week! And I still have to worry about school. Although that's probably a good thing because it'll keep me out of trouble... Which sucks. Sigh. Five days. And four finals. Why am I going to school again? Can't... seem... to... remember...
I just hope I don't forget anything. And don't get sick! I feel like I've been coming down with something for about a week now. Running a mile and a half in the freezing cold and going to bed late doesn't help either. Gosh. I always get sick around Christmas time. Usually it's just with a cold, but I've had the flu with a BAD fever on Christmas day, too. This one time we had Danish relatives over, and I was so sick I ended up taking a hot bath (nearly passed out), and then I fell asleep in my bed with my towel still on, and a full plate of food just inches away. I still need to do better about drying my hair, especially when I'm not feeling well. Soaking wet today!!
I'll be taking two finals today, then one tomorrow and one on Thursday. And then good times on Friday and my wedding *GASP* on Saturday! That's the best way I can think to celebrate the end of another semester. We had a wedding shower on Saturday which was a lot of fun. Since it was for both Shawn and me, and with just his family, the dodgy presents were kept to a minimum (the only suggestive gifts we got were breath mints and a room freshener!), which was good. We got a lot of cookware and Christmas decorations. Hopefully we'll get to use them this year! Can't wait to get married. Hopefully this week will go by fast.

the cheek the CHEEK

So I'm not sure WHO is was, but someone put a sign up over the dishes asking very saccharine-sweetly for people to do their dishes immediately. EXCUSE ME?! I'm one of the few that consistently cleans up after OTHER people, excuse me very much if every now and then I let a few dishes build up. And it said something cheeky like "I hope that's not too difficult" or something along those lines. I told them last night (with their respective boy toys over) to please keep it way way down because I hadn't been feeling well lately (anxiety attacks and vomiting--kind of an understatement). They wouldn't even look at me while I asked them that. I felt like their mom. Two more weeks. Since they felt the need to put up a sign over something I'm just fine at thank you very much (only Meridith has the excuse to put something like that up about the dishes--Natalie's probably the worst, and Krista always whines that she always immediately does her dishes so she won't have to do anyone else's, too. Meridith is usually good about doing other people's dishes although I often find that she leaves pots and pans on the stove. Blech. I'm starting to feel the urge to put my own sign up, too. It'll look something like:


I know I'm overreacting a little bit, which is why this is on my blog, not on a wall at home. But when I don't get enough sleep I take EVERYTHING the wrong way and EVERYTHING sets me off on a rampage. Sorry Shawn. My chest hurts.
Two more weeks. Sigh.

My Auntie is a Zombie From Hell

I never tire of that line. Oh "Not Without My Handbag," how did I exist before thee? Anyway, my sister had her baby last week!!! Cohen Leif Cordell. Which makes me... AN AUNT! For the first time!!! Ever!!!! Here's a picture of my nephew (weeeeeird!!!!!!!)
Stacey ended up getting a C-section because of complications (Cohen didn't want to leave--apparently when they were pulling him out during the Caesarian he kept burrowing down into Stacey's tummy). Isn't he SOOO cute!??! That baby is less than a week old, and look how beautiful he is! And apparently he's got dark hair already. As you all probably know, I was sentenced to bonnets and hats until I was three because I was so bald. Itrysohard! Which is something I will probably pass on to my kids since Shawn as a baby was pretty similar. Minus the bonnets, of course :o)

Who Needs Sleep? Well, You're Never Gonna Get It!

Last night was the first time in a LONG WHILE that I didn't have to try to go to sleep with ear plugs. Thankfully only one of my roommates was home at the time, and she was quietly making out with her boyfriend on the couch. THANK YOU EILATAN! I was still only able to manage about seven hours of sleep, going to bed a little before midnight and getting up at 7:10 am. Well, my alarm is set for 6:40, but I snooze it every five minutes until my brain works enough to be able to do more than press a button. Anyway, the night before last my roommates and their friends kept me up until at least midnight, (AVEC ear plugs mind you, and a pillow folded tightly around my head) AND THEN they woke me up at three! And yeah, of course I couldn't get back to sleep until around 6:00 (remember what time I have to wake up every weekday?). This is like the third or fourth time within the past MONTH that they've woken me up. It's a nightly event that I can't get to sleep because of them. And the thing is, they're really NOT that loud most of the time. They talk in their normal voices (which I still maintain is inappropriate after 10:30, ESPECIALLY IF PEOPLE ARE OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO GET TO SLEEP), sing, laugh, play music, watch movies... The walls are paper thin. And as much as I care about them, no I don't give a flying fig about ANYTHING they have to say if it's past my bed time. I need about eight and a half hours of sleep a night to feel at all functional. And so I don't fall asleep in class. The night before THAT I took some medication to try to help me sleep, only to throw up the next morning, and have to stay home from work and school. Because I can afford THAT. I had to take anxiety medicine yesterday (lack of sleep does wonders for anxiety) which I hadn't had to take in at least a couple of weeks. So yeah. I KNOW I need to talk to them, even though I only have to live in that stupid apartment for 17 more days. SEVENTEEN MORE DAYS!!! But this is me. Queen of the non-confrontational passive-aggressives. I have talked to them before about keeping it down, but they seem to think it applies to THAT night and THAT night only. And I feel dumb telling them to shut the effer up every night, especially in front of their friends. It's not very friendly coming in, saying hi as I pass by them to dump my stuff, and then to come back out and tell them to be quiet, and then go to bed. But by the time I get home, I'm shattered, and the last thing I want to do is listen to a bunch of 18-20 year olds chat and giggle. Was that snotty? Probably. They're really sweet. And they are fun to talk to. I really like them all a lot. Just not from 10:00pm-8:00am. I hate wearing ear plugs.
I'll talk to them. Really. I will.

LESS THAN A MONTH! HOLY CRAP! I just want to get married already! Shawn and I did Thanksgiving together this year. For the most part things turned out great! Shawn took pictures. More later.

D.A.R.E.

thirty eight days left
cute house! It's on the "tree streets" as they're apparently called. My aunt told me. Cedar Avenue. two seconds away from: the creamery, my work, subway, campus, a church, and the temple. This could get very dangerous. Or very helpful. Or both. We'll see!

up to four prescription medications now. Including a narcotic. Isn't that exciting? Remember that part when Meredith broke her pelvic bone and Creed started listing off all these drugs to see which one Meredith was on? Kinda feels like that. I'm talking about the Office, for those of you who aren't following. All this on a week with basically four mid terms. OH MY LIFE!! I missed work and school today, and it looks like I'll be doing the same tomorrow. This morning I woke up a few times gasping for breath, and having to really focus on regulating my breathing pattern. Sick, huh. Shawn was super sweet. He stayed home from school and work, too, made breakfast, lunch and dinner for me. Called the Health Center to see what we should do since it seemed I was getting worse instead of better (that's where the fourth prescribed medication, the narcotic, comes in, that's supposed to help me sleep), and basically catered to my every need. Is he a keeper or what?

Let's see if I'll be able to actually do any homework tomorrow. Today I was in such pain I couldn't even play my favorite VIDEO GAME. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?!?!

If anything, this whole experience has helped solidify my already solidified knowledge that Shawn is perfection itself for me, and I have made the best decision possible in the history of humans.

our house, in the middle of the street our house

We got the house we wanted! It's thirty seconds from where I work and forty seconds from campus. I know, right? And it has a washer and dryer and everything. The only thing I DON'T like about it is the sink is about the size of two small cups, but never mind. Good reason to stay on top of the dishes. The carpet is great. It's CHEAP. We live in a basement under a young family (two kids...apparently it's noisy between 5 and 7, hopefully not TOO noisy). We've got a backyard (I hope they clean up their stuff! YEEEESH!) which we can do some gardening in! Yay! So excited! That's such a huge load off! Here's Shawn's and my reaction when we found out:
I know. I'm ashamed of myself. I'll do better with a more decent picture next time, rather than a rip off pop icon one. Something like that. Anyway, at least that's ONE thing off my chest. Huzzah.

No Rachel, you don't get to know where we're moving to. Heh heh heh. Just kidding... maybe...

I'm freaking out man!!!!

So for the past several days, I've been becoming increasingly short of breath, and my chest has been feeling tight and painful. Finally, Shawn talked me into contacting the Health Center (which I did by E-mail. Of course.). They said I should make an appointment with the doctor. Bleh. I called finally, and they suggested I go right into urgent care, rather than wait for an appointment today. So I went in and started describing my symptoms, and right away the receptionist calls over a nurse, who starts firing different questions at me (does it hurt here? here? here? if you do this?). Most of the time the answer was no which seemed to relieve her. Anyway, I finally saw a doctor (thanks Janay for driving, and for you and Shawn being there!), who also asked loads of questions, checked my pulse among other things, did this breath force thing (is around 300 really low? he made me do it twice because it didn't seem too accurate to him), and decided to have me get chest x rays. After he said that my heart and lungs looked great (well that was the gist of it among all this medical jargon--yay), and had me step up and step down thing with a measuring thing on my finger, and said that was fine, too. Guess what his diagnosis was?




I have six months to live.



No, not really.



I probably have a mild and hopefully temporary form of anxiety. I know, right? I nearly puked in his face. So I'm on drowsy-causing (as a side effect) medication. I've taken two so far, but I've only felt fatigued, the breathing/heart difficulties are still there. Hopefully those'll scoot soon. Good times.

GOOD TIMES!!