I had to create a constellation and write a story about it. Here it is:

The Praying Mantis

The Praying Mantis is known for devouring the male after love-making. The legend follows that if someone accidentally wishes for love on one of the stars from this constellation, he will be first blessed with a great love, but then it will go horribly, horribly wrong, often in creative and surprising ways. It pays to double check the constellations of the sky before you choose which star you wish upon—even if you desire to wish on the first star you see. Some nights it’s best not to wish at all, and be happy with what you are given!

The Praying Mantis is noted for its unique and skinny body, and entreating arms. Many centuries ago, the female mantis was praying for a mate. He eventually did arrive, and they fell immediately in love. One night she woke up to find that he had gone for the night. She fell back asleep and that morning she saw that he had returned. The female knew in her heart he was cheating on her, so that night, after they made love, she ate him. And never felt better. Decades later, when she died, her spirit rose up to the sky and became a constellation and the bane of all hopeful lovers everywhere.

Well Janay thought it was funny.

a few misconceptions

I love my roommates. I think they're great. I feel grateful that I have them as roommates. I'm even setting up one of them with one of Shawn's roommates (on a double date with Shawn and me). I feel comfortable with them. They're all goofy and easygoing and approachable which makes things a bit more laidback and fun. Me just need sleep and me-time sometimes and me don't always get it. Wow, I apologize for that last sentence. But that's all. I just don't want you guys thinking I'm living in a state of hell. I'm just engaged. There's a difference.

Unless it WAS one of them that reported me. Then they'll have to answer to ME for it. Not really. I'm not exactly the confrontational type. OH MY LIFE. EVERYTHING IS WRONG.

Was it just me, or did the commercial Michael make last night in The Office break your heart like mine, it was so good?

Or how eye lurned 2 stop being a h8ter & luv da bomb

Right. So someone had the CHEEK to report me to Roman Gardens for breaking the honor code. What was the crime? A couple of nights ago I let Shawn come into my room for two minutes to kneel and say prayer together, with the door open, because a billion people were in the front room watching a movie. And I'm pretty sure they continued to do so past curfew (I'm not entirely sure because I went to bed at 10:30 and put in earplugs to block out at least some of the noise. A common occurrence these days). So I got a note last night posted to my door (I thought it was going to be a sweet note from my visiting teacher or something. Nope), from the office saying that I had been reported for breaking the honor code, and if it happens again, "they may be forced to start the eviction process." Yeah. I don't think it was either of my 20 yr old roommates. They both have allowed guys to go into their rooms to talk or look at their computer for a few minutes. If it was my room-roommate, she probably did it as just a passing comment without even thinking about it. Just some exaggerated side gossip for entertainment purposes as part of a larger conversation about something else. To a peer working at the front desk. She's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

And if I had been reported, I'd appreciate them going to me as well about it, to see if it was even a substantiated claim. That's hardly fair to have an anonymous complaint about someone and not go to them to see if it's even true. I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!!

I think most likely it was one of the stupid guys over that night. Gosh, if you have a problem with me like that, I'd appreciate if you'd come to me FIRST before making ridiculous assumptions. They probably felt so good about themselves for doing the "right" thing. Self-righteous #*$#*$@#$. I have no patience for people like that. The cheek THE CHEEK.

And this on the night my period starts and my cramps wreak havoc on my body. I was so upset I barely slept last night. And I may have squirted a few angry tears. WHERE DO PEOPLE GET OFF? I just want to be married already and not have to deal with idiots half my age any more.

For the record, Shawn has been in my room for any real length of time three times:
1. helping me move in
2. helping me with my laundry
3. praying together

Wow. We're just destined for hell aren't we? I hope whoever reported us, when they get engaged, they get evicted without prior warning or notice. You try to find two minutes of privacy to talk with God together. I know, I'm such a good person. They should erect a statue.

The least they could do is tell me who reported me along with their address so I can express my appreciation.





















Next time I'm going to ask everyone in the front room to kindly turn off the movie or to be quiet for whatever length of time so Shawn and I can pray and say goodnight.

Anxiously engaged

We're at T-less than two months now until take off. Yay. I wish it would happen NOWWWWW though. I'm so tired of having to share my room with someone I didn't pick. And someone that's six years younger than me. And someone the same gender as me. And someone that can't hear a lick. I mean... what? Basically I'm tired of loud people who continue to be loud late into the night when people are OBVIOUSLY trying to sleep (A movie full blast at midnight? really?) Or friends of roommates who come over when you're OBVIOUSLY watching a movie, and it's near the end where it gets exciting and then they sit three feet away and yell and laugh and talk really loud to each other and you want to die, but kill them first. Although that would defeat the purpose of trying to get away from them. Hmm... who to do in... It's a quandary! The loudness factor goes for both housemates and neighbors. I'm going to spell it neighbours. I'm sure it's a bit irritating for them having to deal with an engaged couple, where I'm either always over at Shawn's house, or vice versa, but STILL! GIVE US A BREAK! T-2 months!!! It'll be nice to have people over, too, that were invited by either Shawn or me, and therefore we know them and like them. That will be real nice. Gosh I'm cranky today! Sorry! Wait, no I'm not sorry. I'm TIRED.

other pictures for whatever reason were ridiculously deemed unfit

I actually really like this first one, but thought it was a bit much for an engagement picture. The second is fantastic, and the third, I thought we looked way cute in it, although it IS a bit suggestive. Which was the point. But not for an engagement picture :-)

Now I can die in peace

Shawn beat Tetris Attack yesterday. Hours we spent fighting it, taking turns trying to beat (I think it was the one-player Round Game version) the last guy. Bowser. It was weird how it went from fairly easy to impossibly hard within two bosses. Now we can start doing homework again, and lead responsible, healthy lives. Until the next game comes along.

And all this while watching Godzilla on TV. WHAT THE CRAP WERE THEY THINKING WITH THAT MOVIE?! I'm so confused. I'm a big Matthew Broderick fan, so I was shocked to see such poor acting in the film, including that which came from him. "I thought you were my friend." ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I would steal your top secret information too if you said things like that to me. Yeeeeeesh. They obviously spent all their money on computer graphics, and I guess relied on the actors to improvise their way through it, given minimal direction. Or maybe too much, because I'm sure they could do better than that if left to their own devices. I just don't know who I AM any more.

Here ye be

Here are two of the 130 pictures we took. There are more, but Shawn's got the CD (I left it in your laptop last night. The disk on top of your suitcase in the front room is the one for your mum. Just a sidenote for Shawn. Sorry). I thought the top one was one of the cuter ones, but my face is partially hidden in the shade, and it's ridiculous, since we're sitting on top of a stone cougar. Sick. The bottom one is the one we finally decided on for our engagement pictures. Yay. I know it looks like I only have one leg. get over yourself.

(click on it)

holy awkward hand placement, batman!

Two months and nineteen days. WAH! So... I think we're doing engagement pictures this weekend. Which will be fun. Although I'm now regretting my addiction to the facebook group "Awkward Engagement Pictures Rocks My Socks." They've made me INCREDIBLY self-conscious about how my own engagement photos are going to look. Because let's face it, no matter what you do, it will always teeter on the edge of being too much (WOW--REALLY didn't want to see that! Kissing is NOT okay for a photo), too weird (how many arms do they have? Is she choking him? Their hands are WHERE?!), or just awkward, period (it looks so staged or ridiculous, or they look like strangers that just met.). If you have no idea what I'm talking about, WHEW, because I hope you won't judge the final outcome as harshly as I will, or those that have seen the group. As if I weren't already self-conscious enough. Do you want examples? I'll GIVE you examples:






















































Do you guys UNDERSTAND now why I'm so flipping freaked out now? Yeah. At least my Uncle Mykal is taking the pictures, and hopefully my aunt Terri will be there to help, and between how self-conscious Shawn and I are, that will prevent the icky pictures (I mean that sexually), although it may heighten the overall awkwardness. But Mykal and Terri are way cool, and really good at making people relax around them, so I think that'll help. OH MY LIFE!

Something I AM looking forward to--we're doing the tasting thing at the luncheon place tomorrow. But it's during the Office and My Name is Earl. ARGH! Why aren't people making more of an effort to work around my Thursday night lineup? I'M SO CONFUSED!

KIDDING! And if I wasn't supposed to post these pictures, Shawn made me do it. Click on them to get a better look. I dare you. Although you may regret it. *shudder*

mawwiage is what bwings us togetheh today...

eighty-four more days.


and counting.



sigh.



SIGH!

I will out-spell your @$$ any time, anywhere.

So I KNOW this shouldn't bother me. But it DOES. A LOT. The afternoon crew uses my address signature, which looks like this:

Kari Pedersen

Financial Secretary

Clinical Psychology PhD Program

(801) 422-5235

Clinical_Psychology@byu.edu

Because I guess they haven't figured out how to add their own (how very official, right?). At least the dude that sits at my desk. Which is fine. It doesn't bother me too much. Unless they send out E-mails that look like THIS:

If you have not already responded to the department regarding the social next Friday, could you please respond to this email. We need to know weather you’re going or not. Thanks

Kari Pedersen

Financial Secretary

Clinical Psychology PhD Program

(801) 422-5235

Clinical_Psychology@byu.edu

There are TWO THINGS VERY wrong with this picture. One rhymes with whether. And the other is an apparent AWOL period. I easily fall victim to grammar mistakes. But NEVER spelling. Weather? REALLY?! So people think I was the one to send that, and that I'm AN IDIOT. Needless to say, I created for him his OWN E-mail signature. Which I would include here, but I don't want him to know that THAT was why I made him his own. And not out of the kindness and goodness of my heart.

I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

three months and three days left. OH MY LIFE!!! Being engaged sucks. If it were up to me, I'd have the engagement period be a week. At the MAX.

(imagine a video of shawn pouting)

I know Shawn. I know. It upsets me, too.
Kari

cross the t's and dot the... lowercase j's...

I had the craziest dream last night! I dreamed that out of the blue Mike Myers called. YEAH. I KNOW! And we talked forever about everything, and I kept worrying that I was boring him (sometimes I would panic and fall silent, and think, "Oh crap, what should I say to keep him on the phone?) but he'd always assure me that it was fine. He mostly wanted to know what real life was like, and I remember recommending a few places (maybe J-dawgs?) and things to try out, that I think he was even considering putting in his movies. My family found out, and they got really excited, so I asked, and he said it was okay to pass the phone over to them. So I did, and went downstairs, and could overhear my mom suddenly start singing "Old MacDonald." What?! My aunt Terri was there, and she talked to him, as well as my Dad. They all said later how nice he was, and my mom was later embarrassed by some of the things she said, and for getting too excited about things. That's my mom!

In other news: 3 months and 12 days left before Shawn and I get married. Sigh.

Last week when I committed suicide as a birthday present...

Rachel and I were discussing, "The Omen," several months ago, when that chick is standing on top of the building on Damien's birthday, and she says, "It's all for you Damien. It's all for you!" Or something like that. And so that's where the title comes from--us making fun of it (although that line was all ME. IT WAS ALL ME RACHEL!). Anyway, I was able to record about fifty seconds of Ben Kweller's concert at "in the Venue" on Shawn's birthday. I think this is Janay's favorite song of his so far, so Janay, this is all for you.

And thanks guys. I like my ring, too. Subtle but still different. LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEE.
Love you all.
Especially Shawn.
Sigh.
107 more days.

Whoops. Sorry it's sideways. Itrysohard.

Here's the ring!!!












And some presents for Shawn's birfday.

Stupid freaking wafflemaker is under investigation, so I haven't gotten that yet for him. Argh!!!!

A Very Long Engagement

At least it FEELS like it! Garsh. Shawn and I hit nine months together today. I got him a card. It's great. You should see it, but you won't. I'm too lazy to take a picture. And I just sealed the envelope.


A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks!

Let's start with August 17, 2007.
I buckle down and get to work on a quilt after work. And ate next to nothing. And suffered major back aches. All in the name of sewing this dumb quilt that I'm not even sure if the fabrics entirely go with each other. *Fist shakeage* I take four Excedrin (not all at the same time) with the required dosage of water. You'd think after all this time I'd learn that if I don't have enough FOOD in my stomach, taken medicine or a lot of vitamins makes me nauseous. I have some pita bread and hummus when Shawn comes over that night. Two o'clock the next morning, I'm doubled over the toilet puking my guts out. Good times. And nice image. Anyway, I hang in there until three o'clock, and finally decide to give in and just phone Shawn for a blessing. He comes ov er, dressed but half asleep (he had gotten to sleep at two!), and gave me a sweet one, and then camped out on the couch while I went back to bed. Ten minutes later I was up, dashing for the bathroom, he immediately follows, and proceeds to rub my back and holds my hair out of my face while I puke up some more. If that isn't romantic, I don't know what is. I suppose the highlight of the situation was when I said "EXCUSE ME" when I made a gross burping noise before I puked. Shawn assured me it wasn't necessary to practice good manners while I'm ralphing, but you know, just in case. Fortunately that was my last vomiting spell. I take a bath, Shawn goes home to get ready (he said if I didn't think I was going to upchuck any time soon, the plans were still on). A little after five he's back and I'm ready. We leave, noticing thunder and lightning off in the distance. There are fishing rods in the car, so I thought he was taking me fishing, which was way cute.
He gets a phone call though--it was canceled due to the weather! It turns out, the fishing rods were a ruse? decoy? hoax? leader-astrayer? He was actually planning on taking me up in a hot air balloon! He knew I had always wanted to go up on one! Isn't that sweet?

So yeah, that cancels, we go back to my place, take a nap, he makes me some soup, and we watch a bunch of episodes of Psych. We then go on a picnic, eat some food and Shawn jams on his guitar a bunch while I focus on not feeling sick and listening FOR PLEASURE. Isn't he cute?
Anyway (Oh yeah, when he showed up the second time at my house, he came with two dozen yellowish-reddish tipped roses! They were beautiful and perfect.) The ring on my finger is the 8 dollar Walmart ring he used to propose. The drawing is the one I did (from memory=therefore bad) of the ring I picked out a few days later. It's being resized right now. Also pictured are a few highlights from the next day--he bought me brown low top converse shoes! They're so freaking hot and perfect. Thanks Shawn! he cheated and looked at one of my shoes to see what my shoe size was. Oh, in case you were wondering, he did call my Dad the Thursday before to ask permission, which was way cute. And sneaky! I was downstairs, and he had gone upstairs to use the loo, and I had asked him to bring down my phone upon his return, and that's when he got my Dad's cell number. For my birthday he also got a few other of my favorite things: ELF double stuffed fudge cookies, a chocolate orange (pretty much the best thing ever), a pink tie for himself to wear since I think they're so freaking HOT, Q tips and makeup remover since he knew I had been meaning to get them, and a Roald Dahl book of short stories that I picked out from Barnes and Noble. Or Borders...? Then we made his mum's recipe that night (mostly he did it. I was still a bit icky from the day before) of Chicken Broccoli Casserole, which is heaven itself. So all in all I had a fantastic birthday (minus the pukeage) with a fantastic righteous babe. Life is good!



And yes, I did in fact agree to marry him. We're scheduled for December 22!! And on Saturday (sorry, this is all over the place. I tried to be organized!) when we got back to his place after he proposed and went ring shopping for a bit, I walked into the front room after chatting to Mitch for a minute, and a bunch of people yelled SURPRISE! They planned a surprise party for me that night! It was Janay, Rachel, Sarah and Nicole! And it was WAY FUN! Thanks guys! Had a great birthday!

i can't help it!

Rubber Soul

Shawn is right. Itrysohard. (Refer to comments page on the previous entry) It turns out we're seven points more of soul mates than Mitch and I are (am?), so he can stop whining about Mitch's and my compatibility. Because facebook proved Shawn and I are definitely meant to be.
Speaking of the sweetness of it all (My dad's tentative title for his book is The Sweetness. I just hope he changes it. Bless. The rest I've enjoyed so far.), Shawn brought me wildflowers yesterday after work! And he looked super hot and rugged while he did it, too. He picked them while he was out spraying, and even though most of them didn't really make the trek back to my house, they still looked great:

I think the close up on the last picture is great because it looks a bit like a Van Gogh. Which Shawn was obviously going for.

It was fun. I finally met his old friend Juls. And she wasn't really what I expected. And she and her husband were hilarious. Even if I was the only one (minus the dirty jokes. Didn't remember THOSE!) that appreciated Top Secret. That SUCKS!

*sits in silent judgment*

Life is good. Here are some happenings:
I saved a dog! A really cute one! And the owner was a skinny blonde tan ungrateful #%%*($@@*. Ten bucks says she was from California. I mean judging by her APPEARANCE, not her BEHAVIOR. Although... Just kidding Shawn! I don't mean or believe EVERYTHING I say about stereotypes. I just think it's funny how you get so upset about it. If I see that dog again, I'm keeping it this time, instead of calling the owner and waiting ten minutes. She parked across the street, beckoned "Boss" to come to her, yelled thanks and left. Wow. If there's anything I really try to be, it's grateful. So when people are so blatantly clueless and ungrateful like that, it really REALLY p*sses me off. Like I literally (LITERALLY!) have to focus on not punching their faces in, it gets me that angry. Pet Peeve. Good times, right?

After a year in Nauvoo, Shawn returned. Well, LAST weekend, but I still feel like I have some major catching up to do. We've started watching the Beatles Anthology together. How could the Beatles NOT be everyone's all time favorite band ever in the history of humans? They're amazing and so ordinary all at the same time. You see them in a room together bickering and joking and chatting, and it's like any other room with four 20something yr olds. And then you see them surrounded by fans and can't help but feel sorry for all of them, it must've gotten so tedious after the initial shock wore off. And Shawn's hot. He can play For No One on the guitar. That's only a tiny contributing factor to his overall appeal. Kay, I'll stop.

Some Spanish guy keeps calling my phone. Well, I think it's a Spanish recording/telemarketer. And it's so frustrating, because they always call when Shawn's not around, or any Spanish speaker. At first I thought it was Poncho playing a joke (he does stupid jokes akin to that) but upon listening closer, it's clearly a recording. *Fist Shakeage!*

I finished the Joy Luck Club. For probably the 6th time. It's been a few years, so I only remembered little bits of it. And it didn't disappoint. It's a fantastic book, and I recommend it without ANY reservations. At all.

Trying not to further embarrass Shawn (sorry!), I went to his ward on Sunday because he was teaching for Sunday School. And it was great, I was super impressed. I was also impressed by how friendly his ward was! I sat down quietly at the end of an aisle (Shawn was standing at the front getting things ready to start)... well, I told Rachel about it. Here's our conversation:

Kari says :
I sat down (I had to run part of the way to church, I was running late) at the end of an aisle by myself, right before he started conducting Sunday School [oh and I was super gross and sweaty. every two seconds I had to wipe off my forehead, it was sick]
Kari says :
and this girl comes in, introduces herself and tells me she's going to sit next to me [she even has us both scoot over so she can sit next to a friend, but she still talked to me and stuff. Great person!]
Kari says :
SO NICE!
Kari says :
and she's like "are you visiting?"
Rachel says :
Really??
Kari says :
and I said I was
Rachel says :
That's wondeful!!!
Kari says :
and she said with whom?
Rachel says :
awesome, awesome
Kari says :
and I pointed at Shawn
Rachel says :
did you say you were his gf?
Kari says :
and she's like "Yeah he's cute!! OH--Are you his girlfriend?"
Kari says :
and I said I was, and she said she had heard about me and stuff like that.
Kari says :
she was super nice
Kari says :
and then after the lesson Shawn walks over to where I was sitting; and she's like "I met your girlfriend, she's way cute!" right in front of me, and he's like "yeah she is!"
Rachel says :
ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel says :
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kari says :
wasn't that sweet?
Rachel says :
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel says :
that kills with its consideration!
Rachel says :
i hope you made out with him for that
Rachel says :
he's a doll!!!!!!!!!!!
Rachel says :
and you are cute, Kari. There is no denying that!
Kari says :
SHUT UP

Her name was Nicki. Nikki. Nicky. Anyway, one of those. And Rachel has a tendency to overreact. Anyway, during testimony meeting, a girl came up that was the spitting image of one of my old district leaders from the mission, and she introduced herself and said she was from Wyoming and I realized THAT WAS HIS LITTLE SISTER!! I talked to her afterwards to make doubly sure and I was right! He was a great missionary, too, funny in a quirky do impressions of him later behind his back sort of way (NOT maliciously!), so it was fun to meet a family member like that. I also discovered that Shawn's roommate Mitch and I are movie soulmates. As in our tastes in movies are so freakishly close it's scary. And so close that it wouldn't even permit Shawn to take the test to compare his and my tastes to see if we were movie compatible. Bless. I thought it was funny. Anyway, life is good. Even if I AM going to be 24 in less than two weeks. Sick. I'm old. F*** YOUR TEEN ANGST! BECAUSE I'M DYING!

Oh yeah. I love the fact that my boss coughs more than my boyfriend, so when I'm dinking around on the computer on a dumb non-work related website, like this one, I can usually hear her coming in time to change to the computer screen to the budget spreadsheet or something.
And the water was yellow in the drinking fountain here! SICK! It looked like urine! And I was devastated (and grossed out) because I was so thirsty! Kay that's all.

Take that mom. TAKE THAT. Miss Priss my FOOT. (My foot's okay Rachel, don't worry)

You Are Not Prissy

You're the furthest thing from a princess - and you probably stay far away from any princess types you know. You have an easygoing approach to living. It doesn't take a lot to make you happy. And when life requires it, you're ready to get your hand a little dirty. There's no problem you're too prissy to tackle!

How Prissy Are You?