Sincerity is the New Irony

Or: Why I should never be allowed to leave the house (and how I would welcome such a policy)

The other day I was filing stuff into the clinic psych student folders (very top secret! so of course I'm privy to all of it. Bwa hah ah aaa just kidding?) and my boss came in to ask if I would watch the printer for her since she was printing stuff out from her computer and wouldn't be able to make it in time to the printer to watch it. Confused, I just nodded at her. Sensing said confusion, she paused and repeated herself two more times. I kept nodding and so she went back to her office computer and printed out the stuff. THEY WERE LABELS. SHE WAS PRINTING ONTO A LABEL SHEET. She just wasn't sure she was doing it right, hence the need for me to watch the printer. I didn't know this, so I just stood there dumbly filing away top secret confidential juicy papers as the labels across the room printed incorrectly, and continued to just stand there filing as she jetted past me to find out for herself that they were done wrong. As she pulled out the badly printed labels, suddenly I had taken on a refreshing mint flavor... I mean I suddenly felt like a complete idiot. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh IIIIII GEEEEETTTTT ITTT. *slaps self*

I don't just need things spelled out for me, I need them demonstrated as well. This one time in my seventh grade math class, I needed to get into a file cabinet. But it wouldn't just pull open. I thought it was locked and told my teacher, who told me I needed to squeeze one of the notches in order to open the drawer. I squeezed and squeezed and it didn't work. Frustrated and embarrassed I asked her again. She ultimately had to show me--you push the notch to the SIDE! THE SIDE! That familiar feeling of being a complete idiot manifested itself once again.

So imagine someone like me being unleashed upon the unsuspecting innocents of England. *shudders* But that's another story for another day.

Anyone who purports to know me would KNOW why I would welcome not having to leave the house, at least not very often. I KNOW how to work the drawers at home.